Back Together ~ pt 2

❤︎︎ Nine ❤︎︎

He was incredibly clingy after our fucking session. He wanted to hold me all night but I was distracted on my phone.

"I just want to be close to you, love. Holding you is the best feeling in the world. Please don't leave me alone tonight" he said

"When do I ever leave you alone?" I said with my arm wrapped around his arm while still looking on my phone

"But I want to be the only thing you're focusing on right now, love. Put your phone down and spend the rest of the night with me"

"hang on. I'm doing some stalking"

"Alright, love. Just remember that there's someone right here who wants your full attention too"

"yeah well you'll survive. this is way more important"

"Alright, love. Just don't forget about me, okay? I'll be patiently waiting for you here" he said. I was still stalking on my phone an hour later and he was getting impatient. "Love, can you please tell me what's going on? You've been on your phone for over an hour now and I'm starting to worry"

"it's your ex. people keep saying you and her are back together which I know you aren't and I'm trying to figure out why people are saying it. turns out she has this poster board thing with pictures pinned on it and majority of the pictures are old ones from when you were together so and people saw it in the background of one of her insta lives and people think you're back together"

"Great, just what I needed. Let me handle this" he said as he took my phone and looked at the picture

"she's obsessed with you... if only she knew that we are engaged and you're not the cheating type"

"I can't believe this is happening again. She needs to understand that I'm with you now. You're the most important person in my life, love"

"it makes me feel so insecure sometimes with how obsessed she still is about you..."

"Love, I know it's hard to hear but I promise you that I've moved on from her. She's just someone from my past who doesn't understand that I've found happiness with you. You're the one I want to be with, the one I love."

"it still hurts though... especially as she's a model too..."

"Love, I understand that it hurts. But remember, beauty fades, intelligence wanes, fame is fleeting. The one thing that remains unchanging is love. You are beautiful, intelligent, and loved by me. That's what truly matters"

"does it though...?"

"Yes, it does. Now put your phone away and let's focus on each other, okay?"

"okay..."

"Good. Now cuddle up with me, love. Let's forget about everything else and just enjoy each other's company"

"mhm..."

"Everything's going to be okay, love. You are everything to me. The only one who matters"

"I never feel good enough for you though..." I said while holding back tears

"Love, you are more than good enough for me. You are my everything. My world, my heart, my soul. Nothing is more true or more real than my love for you. Don't ever doubt that, okay?"

"it's hard not to when there's so many better girls in your dms that you could be with..."

"Sweetheart, please don't believe that. I'm with you because I choose to be. Because you are the one who makes my heart race, the one who fills my world with joy"

"but I'm not right for you... I never have been..." I said while shaking and heating up like crazy

"Love, please don't say that. You are everything right about me. You make my world brighter, my heart fuller, and my soul happier"

"I don't... you're lying..." I said as I continued to shake

"Love, I swear on my life that I am not lying to you. You are everything to me. Please believe me when I say that."

"I can't... it's not true..." I said. My breathing was getting insanely fast

"Baby, please calm down. Take deep breaths with me. In... and out... You're safe with me, love" he said. I couldn't breathe well... I was literally hyperventilating more than ever and it was getting really painful to the point where I started coughing like crazy. "Love, I'm taking you to the hospital. Don't argue with me. Please, just trust me on this" he said. I actually agreed with him for once to take me to the hospital. I was still breathing fast but it was hurting insanely and I was still coughing while also having bloodshot eyes. The next thing I knew I was coughing up blood and then I went into surgery. Turns out I punctured my lung while having my anxiety attack. I stayed there for a few days and Lando decided that he was gonna miss a race so he could look after me at home. But things got really bad for me after that. I went down the self harm route. But not the usual cutting route. The burning route. I did it during the night. I used my lighter and burnt my wrists. Lando was asleep basically the whole day and a little punctured lung wasn't gonna stop me from making food so I got to work on some food. I made some pasta for us and of course put salad cream on Lando's because he's weird like that. He woke up and came down to eat it but then when we finished he noticed the burns. "Lexi, what have you done? When did this happen? Who did this to you?" He said

"no one... I just burnt them by putting something in the oven..." I said. Biggest fucking lie ever and a real fucking stupid one too. I hadn't put anything in the oven that day because I did fucking pasta.

"That doesn't explain these burns. You haven't used the oven today. You need to tell me the truth, Lexi. Did someone hurt you?"

"no one hurt me..." I said. I could hear him sigh and I knew he was gonna drop it for now but he was still gonna help me

"Alright, let's clean these up and get you to bed. You need rest" he said as he took me up to the bathroom to wash the burns. We went up there and then he made the link. He saw the lighter on the floor. He picked up the lighter and held it in front of me. "Lexi, did you try to hurt yourself with this?"

"no..."

"Don't lie to me, Lexi. Did you try to hurt yourself?"

"no..." I said again while looking down at my wrists. One way that Lando always knew I was lying was that I would always avoid eye contact with him and I would go really quiet. Sometimes I would even play with my hands or play with my bracelet if I was wearing one on the day.

"Alright, let's focus on getting these burns taken care of. Raise your arms so I can take off your shirt and we can get you in the bath" he said. I did so and I got in the bath and he started gently washing my burns with the cool water. "I wish you'd talk to me, Lexi. I'm here for you, and I want to help" he said. I didn't reply. He finished cleaning them and he wrapped me up in a fluffy towel and then patted my burns dry with a clean flannel. He told me to stay in the bathroom and he went out to get some cream for it and then came back and lathered the cream on my wrists before wrapping them up in some gauze/bandages. "There you go. You should be able to move your hands soon without too much discomfort. Now, why don't you lay down on the couch?" He said. I basically fell asleep in his arms on the couch. I woke up to him drawing little designs on my bandaged wrists and it honestly looked so cute. He was gonna take care of me. I knew that. But I knew I wouldn't be able to hold back from doing it again