Back Together ~ pt 2

❤︎︎ Twenty-Nine ❤︎︎

I know... another time skip... but I didn't have a lot that went on during that so here we go... a few months later. Our 3 year anniversary and we walked into the paddock at Silverstone. We weren't going to do much for our anniversary. We had to focus on our baby girl... our 11 month old baby girl... She was babbling a lot more and her babbles were getting closer to words. She was still only saying mama and dada though. That was until we went into the garage and we saw his F1 car. She pointed at it and said "dada car!!!" which literally gave me such a shock.

"Oh my god!!! Lando!!! She said her third word!!! she said car!!! go on, Lils, say it again for dada" I said. She said it again and Lando smiled as he ruffled her curls.

"She's definitely taking after her mother. You're going to have to watch out when she starts talking back, Lex" he said

"she's never gonna stop talking!!" I said with a laugh as I nuzzled my nose against hers but I quickly stopped when I smelt that she had taken a shit. My senses were still extremely sensitive since being at the mental hospital. I would get incredibly scared when being touched unexpectedly, my eyes would hurt if lights felt too bright, sounds got louder and my ears got very sensitive, smells got stronger and made me nearly throw up and most foods were making me throw up still. We went to his driver room and he changed Liliana while I was laying on his couch with a blanket over my head. Lando put Liliana on the floor where she was playing with her feet and he moved the blanket off my head.

"Hey, look at me. I'm so sorry about everything, Lexi. I never meant for any of this to happen"

"It's not your fault..."

"But it feels like it does, doesn't it?" He said. I jumped slightly as I heard Liliana knock something over. As I said; sounds got louder and scared me. "Hey, it's okay. She's just being a baby" he said. I nodded while trying to hold my emotions in. Everything was getting too much. I had a nap and when I woke up it was time for the race and Lando literally got me ear defenders. I had never worn them to a race before. He put Liliana's on and then put mine on but I pushed him away.

"what the fuck are you doing? Liliana needs ear defenders. but me??" I said

"I know, but your hearing is still sensitive. I don't want you to get overwhelmed by the noise" he said. He put the ear defenders on me and then put me in front of the mirror.

"I look fucking ridiculous with these on. I'm a grown ass adult"

"I know, but it's just for a little while. Besides, I think you look adorable with them on"

"I look fucking stupid"

"Lexi, you're beautiful no matter what you're wearing. these ear defenders don't make you look stupid"

"they really do. literally no one else will be wearing them besides Liliana and she's only wearing them because she's a literal baby" I said. Once he got in the car I stood by the side and took the ear defenders off and when the race started and all the cars went off my ears literally started ringing like crazy. It was actually painful. I was in pain for 2 hours and when he came back to the garage he saw me in pain and the ear defenders around my neck and he was pissed.

"you were supposed to keep these on. I specifically told you they were necessary!!!" He shouted which didn't help my ringing ears at all.

"I looked stupid with them on..." I said while wincing from the pain of my ears.

"I'm sorry, did I say you could take them off?" He said.

"No..."

"Your ears were already sensitive; you knew that. And now look at you - tears streaming down your face, ears likely ringing from the noise. What were you thinking?"

"I don't know..."

"I trusted you to follow my instructions, and now look at the state of you" he said. And in that exact moment I got insane pain in my right ear which caused me to nearly drop Liliana. I moved my hand and my ear was bleeding. "Oh my god, Lex!!! Can you hear me???"

"it hurts!!!! I can't hear out of it!!! I can only hear out of this one!!!" I said while pointing to my other ear. I was in so much pain.

I got to the hospital and turns out my eardrum had burst. If I had gone to the hospital earlier then my ear probably would have been fine but it was too late. I was deaf in one ear. Lando sat next to me and put Liliana in my arms as he rubbed my free hand.

"I'm so sorry, Lex. If I could take away the pain or the loss of your hearing, I would do it in a heartbeat"

"it's only in one ear... it's not like I'm never gonna hear your voice again. I'll still hear it but just in one ear"

"That's true, Lexi. You'll still be able to hear me. But I'm going to make sure you never have to go through anything like this again"

"it's my fault... I should have kept the ear defenders on during the race"

"It's not your fault, Lexi. These things happen in racing. You couldn't have predicted this"

"but you told me to put the ear defenders on because of how sensitive my ears have been lately and I didn't listen and now look at what's happened... it's my fault..."

"Lexi, you can't blame yourself for this. It's an accident that could have happened to anyone, even with the ear defenders on"

"but it could have been extremely prevented with the ear defenders on but I was a fucking idiot and decided to take them off because I thought that I looked too stupid with them on"

"Lex, stop it. What's done is done and we can't go back but what you can do is stop blaming yourself and we move on" he said.