Back Together ~ pt 2

❤︎︎ Eleven ❤︎︎

He left me a voicemail a couple hours after I ran away. I was moving from food place to food place to charge my phone. I bought a charger the second I ran away. I even slept in fields that were basically muddy. I finally decided to listen to Lando's voicemail.

"Lexi, I know I messed up. But please come back to me. I can't live without you. You're my everything. Please call me when you get this message" he said. I couldn't answer it. I couldn't call back. I watched the race that he was not meant to do but he went anyway but he retired early. Azerbaijan GP was shit for him. The police found me 2 weeks after I went missing and they took me home. I knew I was gonna get yelled at by Lando. They took me home and Lando closed the door before pulling me in. My hair was matted, I was skinnier than ever, I had bloodshot eyes and I was covered in mud. Still in the same clothes that I was in when I ran away. "Lexi? What happened? Where have you been?"

"Nowhere..."

"That's not good enough, Lexi. You can't just disappear like that. I thought I lost you again. It was the worst feeling in the world!!"

"you lived... you were fine..."

"No, I wasn't fine, Lexi. You're my whole world and when you're gone, it feels like I've lost everything. You mean more to me than anything else in this universe. You can't just abandon me like that!!"

"you know I don't mean anything to anyone"

"You're wrong, Lexi. You mean everything to me. I promise you, we'll get through this together"

"we won't. i know we won't. something bad will happen"

"Lexi, we can face whatever comes our way. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Trust me" he said as he put his arms around me and held me close

"Lan... you're gonna be covered in mud now... you probably shouldn't have hugged me..."

"Don't worry about it, Lexi. As long as you're safe, nothing else matters. Just hold on to me, and I promise you, everything is going to be alright"

"it won't be though..."

"You don't have to believe me now, Lexi. But just trust that I will do everything in my power to make sure nothing bad happens to you"

"everything bad has already happened to me"

"If you'll let me, Lexi, I'll help you find the good in all of it. We can make a new start together"

"there is no good"

"I won't accept that, Lexi. There has to be something, somewhere that brings you joy or hope. Let's find it together"

"there isn't"

"If you don't believe me now, that's okay. But I promise you this: I will never give up on finding that something for you. You mean too much to me for me to ever stop trying"

"whatever..." I said as he pulled me closer but then he noticed my burns on my arms and then he noticed them on my thighs too. And then he found my lighter in my hoodie pocket

"Lexi, you didn't try anything while you were gone, did you?"

"No..." I said while pulling up the sleeves of my hoodie and pulling down my shorts to hide my burns

"Lexi, I need you to look at me. It's important. Did you try anything while you were gone?"

"No..."

"Lexi, I know you're in pain right now. And I can see that you're hurting - physically and emotionally. But please, don't make things worse by lying to me"

"I'm not lying!!!" I said as I stormed off to the bathroom and locked myself in there with my lighter. He followed me and picked the lock and grabbed my wrist which I winced at because of how many burns I had there. He started to lose his shit

"Stop it, Lexi! Just stop! You're not helping anything by doing this. In fact, you're only making things worse!! I care about you, Lexi! And I won't stand by and watch you destroy yourself. You need to stop this self-harm, for both our sakes" he said. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run away again but he grabbed my waist which caused me to start squirming in his arms

"let go of me!!!! let me go!!!"

"I'm not going to let you go, Lexi. You need me right now, and I'm not about to give up on you" he said. I finally managed to wriggle out of his arms and I grabbed a knife from the kitchen.

"you come anywhere close to me and this knife is going inside me!!!"

"Lexi, please put the knife down. You're not thinking clearly right now. I just want to help you"

"I'm never thinking fucking clearly!!!! my whole life is a lie and a joke and I'm sick of it all!!!"

"I understand that you're hurting, but using self-harm won't make things better. Let's talk about this and figure out a different way to cope" he said as he took a step closer to me which caused me to put the knife closer to my side

"one more step and I'm putting this knife in me"

"Alright, alright. I'll back off for now. But please, don't do this to yourself. You're worth so much more than self-harm" he said as he took a step back

"I'm not!!! i never have and I never will!!!!"

"Look, I know it might not seem like it right now, but you are. You're my Lexi, and I love you for who you are. Please don't hurt yourself"

"you don't!!!! no one loves me!!!! you're engaged to a crazy maniac!!!!!"

"That's not true. I care about you deeply, and I know you feel lost right now, but there are people who love you and want to help you. You just need to let them in"

"I'm not letting anyone in!!!! I would have given you a better life if you didn't make the police go and search for me!!!!"

"I know you're angry with me, but it was never my intention to hurt you. If I could take it back, I would. But Lexi, no matter what, I'll always be here for you" he said as he put his hand on my shoulder

"fuck this life. fuck everything" I said as I pushed the knife in my side and i collapsed in his arms with blood surrounding the knife stabbed inside me

"Lexi, no! Please don't do this. I promise I'll help you through this. Just hold on" he said with panic as he tried to stop the bleeding

"let me fucking die..."

"No, you won't die. I won't let you. You mean too much to me"

"bit too late now"

"Lexi, please don't talk like that. We're going to get you help, I promise. Just hold on"

"there's no point... just let me die..."

"No, Lexi! You can't give up now. I know it's hard, but please try to hold on"

"I can't... I'll see you in our next lifetime..."

"No, no! I won't let you go like this. Please, Lexi, please" he said with tears streaming down his face. I had never seen him cry so much in my life

"you'll be okay... find someone who will truly love you and give them everything they've ever wanted" I said

"I can't lose you, Lexi. Please don't leave me" he sobbed. He was blubbering and literally struggling to breathe with how much he was crying.

"i don't really have a choice now... I love you..." I said as he called for an ambulance

"And I love you. Always have, always will. Please don't go, Lexi" he said after the call while holding my hand tightly

"just let me go for a bit... if it's really meant to be then I'll find my way back to you in this lifetime"

"I can't, Lexi. I can't let you go like this. Please, hold on. The ambulance is coming. Please just stay with me"

"I can't... I love you so much, Lando..." I said as I started closing my eyes

"I love you too, Lexi. Always..." he said as he kissed my forehead with tears still streaming down his face. That was the last thing I heard...