Falling for a Storm

Chapter 1: Lexi

Sitting on the swing on the back porch, sipping on my morning coffee, still wearing my running clothes, and watching the sunrise over the Bohicket Creek, is my favorite part of living in this big house. I run everyday but I can only do it in the early morning hours or evening to survive the humidity. I don't mind, less people that way.

I love sitting out here listening to the world wake up, the peace it brings me, it's still hard after the life I've had to wrap my mind around the fact this house is all mine. Of course I really don't need a 5 bedroom home on 5 acres, it's only me here and nobody visits. When you grow up in a trailer with an absent parent that enjoyed having their loud friends over, it's nice to have space and peace. Then again thinking about how I got here I feel less accomplished.

As I have for a year now, I often think back to that day, I can still remember our last conversation before his car hit us. Like always I wanted a simple dinner like fast food and a picnic in the park, however Bash wanted me to be more comfortable with the 'finer things in life' so his Uncle's favorite restaurant, Lebkuchen Lounge for some fine dining, was where we were headed that night.

Taking a deep breath I started to notice the sounds from the boats running up Bohicket Creek towards the ocean for a day of fishing. Standing, stretching my arms above my head, then reaching onto the table I grab my coffee cup, going into the house dropping my cup in the sink. I take a shower and head to my office to start my day.

I chose the room that overlooks the driveway as an office in case I get a delivery of a book I edited. While my work is on the computer I like to be an active part of the books I've worked on so I always pre-order them. My library is full of the amazing stories I have the pleasure of being a small part of along with others I just love. I enjoy each of the authors I work with and I feel included as a part of their group. That's probably silly but I like to think they are my friends even without having ever met them in person because of having so many late night editing sessions with their books. When Bash died and I took a week to drive here from Washington, they were understanding and even sent me care packages for when I would arrive. Their care packages came with a bunch of book merch that I've used as decorations in my personal library. Whenever one of my authors gets a new book released I have always made them a care package filled with relaxing items for them to enjoy their success. That's probably why they sent me their care packages. Before moving here I had never had such a unique container, but now I go to the Charleston City Market and get a Sweetgrass basket to fill with their self care items.

Shaking those thoughts from my head. I grab Sabastian's letter from my desk and hold it in my hands like I do every day. I wonder if I am ready to move past this? It has been a year.

Yesterday the lady at the post office said I'm too young to be so alone, ugh I'm 29 and I've always been alone except for those 6 years I spent with Sabastian. She probably knows her whole family, like everyone else here does. Some of us don't have a family or at least one that wanted them. Everyone had an opinion on me moving here all alone until I informed them why, now they just let me be.

Setting the letter back down I open my schedule and see that I have a break. All the authors I edit for aren't due to send me work for a week or more, maybe I should take this time to deal with his letter, since I've drawn it out this long. What if it just says he loves me and wants me to move on? That seems anticlimactic, knowing Bash, it will be an adventure for me to go on, he knows I don't deal well with emotional crap. Never have, I just push down all my emotions and move on allowing the baggage to slowly drown me. His way of helping would be to push me outside of my comfort zone and forcing me to handle things, isn't what I would call healthy either.

Dammit I'm procrastinating again. I'm just going to suck it up and do it. Yup! I'm going to read his letter. I can plan what to do with it after but I need to do this. I might as well actually finish this chapter of our life together. Straightening my shoulders I grab my letter opener, I mean I don't want to rip the letter before I read it, I finally open his letter to me.