Dollface

Part 26

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On the second day, we were up later than usual. After yesterday's embarrassing incident, I feel like the atmosphere is a little different, but I honestly don't want to fully understand it.

At midnight, we both handed out printed pages of maps and sheets. Simon sat at the computer, eyes glued to the screen, telling me which map to mark with which city or country.

S: Map five of South Africa. Circle Malawi, mark red.

I insisted on staying as organized as possible and Simon agreed as long as he didn't have to deal with it.

Red was for those who worked for my father, blue for those who have the most in common, and green for the most irrelevant mafias.

~~~~
I spent the next few days locked in the basement with Simon, practicing my range and shooting targets to the best of my ability.

I could never be as good as Simon, though. He held the gun so carelessly, stood at a certain angle, and only raised one arm to fire. Every time he hit the bullseye on either side, right or left.

I went to raise my gun again, holding it tight as if I didn't want to drop it. Both my hands were placed in the necessary places I had learned before. I narrowed my eyes on the target and was about to pull the trigger when Simon appeared behind me.

S: Don't be so tense, you're straining, you'll never get a clean hit like that.

I watch as his hands reach around me, touching one of mine, his fingertips brushing against my knuckles.

S: Don't hold too tight.

I felt his soft, thick curls touch my cheek, causing me to inhale sharply, in my chest, my heart fluttering and pounding out of my chest as my stomach churned.

I absolutely loathed the feeling he made me feel, at first I didn't want to think much about it.

I said I was curious; that I was attracted to him, and since I was a complete idiot, I obviously had to fall for his appealing everything.

I look at the floor as he moves away from me, Simon's lips moving but my ears were interfering with hearing, instead I was too lost in thought and fighting to feel emotionally attracted to him.

S: Did you hear what I said, Isa?

I turn sharply and connect my eyes with his. I stare back like emptiness with silent thoughts.

I: Uh-yeah, sorry, I wasn't paying attention.
S: I asked if you were hungry.

He takes the gun from my hand and starts unloading it onto a table.

I: Not really.

He started to nod slowly.

S: Okay, fine, I'm upstairs in the kitchen. I suggest you don't go back into the yard. I would feel more at peace if you stayed away from snakes.

I watch him walk up the basement stairs, into the hallway above, my arms folded across my chest as I sink to the floor against the wall. A loud sigh escapes my lips as I stare at the ceiling.

How can I even begin to feel anything for a man so heartless and clueless about emotions? Someone who can change mood from calm to angry in a matter of seconds. He doesn't care about me, but if he offers it, I know I'd take it in a heartbeat, and that annoyed me.

I should learn to stop attaching myself to those who want nothing to do with me. I despise the way he looks at me and the way his gaze makes me so angry but weak in the knees, he catches my attention so easily and manipulates it sometimes without even realizing it.

I felt this desire for him. I didn't even have to think about sex. In fact, I don't think it started that way.

He's not the type to offer hugs or even cuddles and that's why I crave a warm embrace from him, he doesn't speak to me on an emotional level and that's why I persist in trying to understand this complicated man.

Simon treats me like shit, I have to admit that I still... I'm fascinated by everything he does. Every little thing about him makes my stomach flutter and I feel deeply sick to think that I might actually fall in love with a cold-hearted killer like him...

~~~~
S: ISABELL!

I shoot up from my bed in a serious rush and speed. I throw the covers off my body and sprint down the stairs to see what the hell is going on.

When I find him in the hallway, he was struggling with a phone to his ear.

S: Find me a charger.

Regardless of how clueless I am about the situation, I turn on my heel and begin a reckless search for the phone charger.

Within a few minutes, I finally spot the cord thrown under the couch and pass it to Simon.

I: What's going on?

As Simon plugs in the phone, he quickly starts typing into the computer.

S: I trace a call, it was a conversation between Johnny and another man.
I: How long will this take?

With a press of the enter key, he finally takes care of himself downstairs and stares at the screen.

S: Not long at all. I already have the location.
I: Where?
S: He's in Chicago, Illinois.
I: So... does that mean we have to go and find him?

Simon shook his head and ran his hand through his hair.

S: I don't know. I can't leave you alone, and I can't expect to take you with me. It's too dangerous.
I: I think I can handle it.
S: I'm not putting you in danger, okay?
I: What will it take to convince you?

He takes a few steps toward me, inches from my face, grabbing my chin as he looks straight at me.

S: I don't plan on leaving any scars on your pretty face, and I also realize that you know how serious this situation is. It's a matter of life and death, and I want you to stay out of it.

I sigh and roll my eyes.

I: Simon, life and death are always the same when your father is one of the biggest mafia leaders in the world.
S: Well, my goal is to steer you as far away from death as possible, okay? What do you think will happen if I take you into the middle of this damn crap? Do you really think you're going to make it out alive?

I shrug and rip his hand from my chin.

I: You ask a lot of questions.

I say, mimicking his frequent comment and turning to walk away,

S: Isa, don't fucking walk away from me.
I: Too late.

I shout as I walk up the stairs to my room.

I: I'm going back to sleep!

It's either my sanity or Simon's, and I don't know which goes out first.