Dollface

Part 82

L: Well what I really want to know is this guy... the one you love.

I inhale sharply and immediately feel overwhelmed by the mere thought of him, the one I've avoided for so long. I avert my eyes from her to the floor mat.

I: It's a bit complicated...

I start hesitantly, playing and tugging at the hem of my top.

I: Our relationship was, shall we say, unbalanced, which made things really difficult, we couldn't sit together for more than two hours without arguing or, if I'm being completely honest, having random sex.

I blush irresistibly, but Liv doesn't respond, instead nodding in understanding, encouraging me to continue. I usually feel really weird and uncomfortable when I talk to someone about it, but somehow I don't feel so uncomfortable when I talk to Liv.

I: But I can't blame him. I kinda...liked it. You know? How our spontaneous friendship always kept me on my toes. I don't know, it was just fun, and he's a very cold person, always dark with everyone else. But to me he was gentle and...sweet.

I can't help the smile that tugs at the corners of my lips as I press my cheek, cheeks flushed.

I: He felt the need to protect me all the time and I wouldn't say he was possessive or dangerous, but he made me his main priority and that's all I wanted. The perfect guy in my circumstances.

Liv listens carefully to every word, which I'm grateful for because it's the first time I've really talked about it.

L: So what was really wrong with that?

She asks, and at that moment Tyler, her three year old son, runs over to her and grabs her leg, hugging it tightly, Liv giggles, looking down at him with a warm smile before picking him up and flinging him to sit comfortably on hers left hip. I sigh, rubbing my sweaty temple and brushing my loose strands of hair away from my face.

I: It was probably both of our mistakes... We always had closed communication, he didn't like sharing feelings, and if he was honest with me, I was surprised by his accusations, but I still love him, and I know not even where he is. Some problems have separated us and I hope he is still alive.

Your eyebrows raise in surprise at our so called messy relationship, I mean, is it even a relationship?

L: Sounds like a tragic love story, Isa, if I'm honest. I'm sorry but it's just so... wild, you hope he's alive? We can always find him and-

I immediately shake my head.

I: I can't do that now. I need a break, life has been so suffocating and having all this violence around really had an impact on me. I... I want him, but it's like... do I really want to go back?

A hum is muffled by her closed lips and her head moves slightly with a nod.

L: It sounds more like you want him in different circumstances, not the ones you've already been in.
I: Sounds about right.

I agree and press my lips into a tight line.

I: Anyway, I see that Tyler finally got some new shoes.

Tyler gives me a full-toothed smile and wrinkles his nose cheekily while Liv rolls his eyes.

L: It cost me a fortune, but these were the ones he wanted.

She looks down at her son and hugs him tightly, just to think of Simon and me in these special circumstances, children...with Simon? Sounds strange, but I find myself wishing for that future for us, if we even have one.

~~~~~
I slip into the hotel's fresh white bed linen, have a fresh shower and really relax. Half my face is buried in the pillow and I remember that tomorrow is the twentieth of October, the day of the party my father always goes to

The fancy food, suits, dresses and the weapons hidden under everyone's jackets. I was just talking about how I never want to return to this life again, but here I am mentally preparing myself to walk into a magnificent building just to talk to my father.

Simon's POV
I slammed my fists into the punching bag and breathed in short, light breaths. Heat felt like it was radiating from multiple areas of my face, sweat poured down my skin, I paused for a second, took a deep breath, found it hard to breathe, especially when I overexerted myself, my mind was filled with thoughts of Isa consumed all the time. I'm still desperate to find her.

Part of me believes she's dead, but the other part will never accept that. I miss her more than ever. Her tolerance for my bullshit, which I vow to badly fix if I ever find her again.

I miss them for things that I could physically get from any other woman, but I just don't want it from them. I want it from her. The way her hands ran through my hair or sat on my lap or when she traced my tattoos with her fingers.

I looked everywhere I could think of, there was just no sign of her. She could now be across the country or on another continent. I didn't know and the stress is unbearable, I'm a flame on the inside and I look burnt out on the outside.

Farah quit about a week ago and made sure her departure was known. My lips press together and I huff, tilting my forehead against the punching bag.

Until a phone on the wall starts ringing. I snap myself out of my tense thoughts, turning my head and burning my eyes into it for a moment, soon becoming enraged by the irritating ringing, within seconds I rush over and hold it to my ear.

S: Hello.

I murmur quietly, wondering who would call such a lonely place.

G: Well, hello, son.

My chest tightens when I hear his voice and I lean my forearm against the wall.

S: Mr Gates.
G: You sound very unhappy, Simon. Maybe I'd like to suggest that I should be the one who's incredibly angry because you ran off with my daughter and that you lost her and Adam is dead. So... the real question is who. Has. My. Daughter?

I exhale deeply and rub between my eyes with my thumb and forefinger.

S: I looked for her everywhere. If I knew, she would be with me now, but I don't know.
G: I know. I have at least ten men in the area you are in right now, they are all heavily armed, so I suggest you comply, Simon. Or I will burn you to ashes.

I grip the phone tighter before growling.

S: What do you want with me?
G: Not to kill you yet, but to use you... as bait. I have contacted every organization, every government gateway, and there is no trace of her. Isabell is hiding alone, and I'm 100% sure of it. She didn't come back to you just because she doesn't know how. However, I am aware that she is not dead.
S: How do you know that?

I mutter angrily, but deep down I'm so relieved I feel like I could...smile. But if that's true, that means she's out there. Alone.

G: Your grandmother was very pleased to tell me that Isabell was coming to visit her in England tomorrow evening after the gala. She'll be there, Simon, and she'll see what a damn mess you've made.

Before I could react, a shocking pain pierces my skull and I immediately fall to the ground, unconscious and completely unaware of everything around me.