What Love Feels Like

Twenty eight | well damn

K. - cigarettes after sex

Something stirs me awake.It's a faint movement- a weight on my chest, completely suffocating me but oddly in a good way.

What the hell?

I look down to see Ariella.

The name that hadn't fucking left my head ever since I've known it. Ever since I've known her.

Now she's here. Curled up closer to me than she was when awake - which was too far away for my liking.

My eyes open as I blink a few more times to finally snap out of my drowsiness and I look down.

She's practically on top of me, wrapped around me like I'm sort of some pillow, and the scary thing is that my hold on her isn't any different.

Her head is nestled on the crook of my neck, so close that the scent of vanilla invades me.

My arm rests on her waist as hers are lazily draped over my stomach while the other is curled around the fabric of my hoodie, like she needed something to hold onto.

She looks so peaceful, so much at ease, like she doesn't care she's clinging on to me when she's asleep. A complete contrast to how she doesn't even want to be near me when she's awake anymore.

Which reminds me, I've really got to do something about that.

Something being that groveling shit that she reads in her books but ten times better.

Ariella shifts again, one cheek pressed against me, her hair a wavy mess spilled everywhere and her lips slightly parted.

She looks so fucking pretty.

My heart feels like it's running a fucking marathon and then I snap out of me being a full-on fucking creep just staring at her and doing nothing.

We aren't sitting- we are far from sitting- we're fully lying down now on the oddly very comfortable couch.

How the hell are we even in this position?

Hold that thought. Something just popped up in my head.

...if Ella was awake right now and was actually talking to me- I just know what would've came out of her mouth after I said that.

She would've said, 'Have you ever tried this one?' As she starts singing this one singer girl's song that I don't have a flying clue on what her name is.

Fuck me. This girl really corrupted everything in me including my thoughts by making me even think like her.

I'm really screwed aren't I?

Instead of answering my own question, I think of how I remember her falling asleep and her head somehow ending up on my shoulder. I didn't move an inch when she did because I was afraid if I did, she would've woken up and kept her distance from me like how she was the entire evening.