Poems of a Lost Girl

Here's to you, assholes!! (rant)

I am so tired of being lonely, these are supposed to be my best years.  I am so tired of getting treated like shit, ignored and abused. I am so fucking sick of this cycle, everything is fine, then everything is wrong, I don't understand a fucking thing. 

So here's to my friends, who never text me back, regardless of how many times I call or message. Regardless of if you've 'seen' it or if I've caught you talking to other people. I know you're ignoring me on purpose. 

here's to you, the ones who left me. Weather it was for my mistakes of the past, my attitude or my life style you just couldn't handle me. Maybe it was because I didn't want to be your skinny hot piece of ass anymore, or maybe it was because I got a boyfriend. Maybe it's because I got so freakin' depressed, I'm sorry I wasn't able to be your source of entertainment any more you absolute fucking walnut because I was to busy writhing in pain from previous wounds. 

Here's to you, the ones who betrayed me, back stabbed me, and then played innocent. May all your coffee be weak, may you never climax during sex, may you never catch a tag for spoilers and may all your OTPs DIE!!!! 

Here's to you, the one who forgot me. I don't blame you, I wish I could forget too. But see, I can't. I remember everything. Every sickening detail about people. I can reflect on a memory and recall exactly what was going through my head, what I was feeling, what was in their eyes, even their tone of voice. It only takes one word, to trigger a thousand memories at once and then I am sent into a swirling spiral of depression and agony as all my healed wounds are ripped apart and the stitches fly across the room.  I wish I could forget me too. 

See, I have tried so hard to be a better soul. I have worked so hard at making myself whole. I believe my better years are still ahead, my mind is clear. Believe me when I say I'm in control.