Poems of a Lost Girl

Until It Happens To You

(Inspired by the song by Lady GaGa)

I'll never forget that night, sometimes the images still haunt me.

I was stronger than he was, but I couldn't get him off me. 

I was at least a foot taller, the doors were all open I could of just hollered. . .

But he trusted me not to scream, and from then it was like a terrible dream. 

I couldn't move, so I just pretended it was okay. 

I wanted to run, all I could do was pray.

"Dear God don't let this haunt me, please watch over me tonight, let this turn out alright."

He guilted me silent, "I've spent years gaining their trust, I've never done this before please don't tell anyone, they won't let me stay over anymore. . ." 

I didn't want to drag it out, I didn't want to go to court, I didn't want my friend to know her own family was the one that made me sick, raped and sore. 

"Can I tell my friends about this?" 

"Whatever, I don't care. Just leave my name out."

"Sure, will I ever see you again?"

"That, I seriously doubt."

He didn't know he raped me, how could he? I didn't say. . .

In fact I didn't say anything, I was nearly asleep when he came onto me.

I was strong enough I could of pushed him away, I was loud enough I could of screamed.

I didn't want to ruin his life, I didn't want to cause a scene. . .

I remember it as if it were last night before, now the memories are blurry.

I'm forgetting, and that's good, I don't want to remember. 

I don't want to hear his voice or see his face anymore. 

In fact now I don't really remember what he looks like anymore. 

I won't let it weigh me down, I've moved on. 

I just wanted to let the last emotions out after hearing that song.

And it's true, you don't know how you'd react or what you'd do

I thought I was a fighter, but that wasn't true.

You can never really know until it happens to you.

I pray it never does,

and with that, I conclude.