Poems of a Lost Girl

Two Halves Make A Whole Soul

You can spend your whole life wandering or just thirteen years to find the love of your life, the most precious person in the world for you to hold the most dear. It could be in a coffee shop, at school, in a parking lot, or a tree. It could be anywhere people go to be alone or meet. It could be when your looking out the window at oncoming cars in the street. The most different people, with nothing in common it seems, can come together like they were always meant to be. After several times being pushed in the same places in hopes they'd finally meet. Their paths cross a million times before they stand in front of each other, eye to eye and see inside what they've been looking for their whole lives; the other half to their soul, a perfect tear drop to make a circle whole.  There is a feeling that comes over you that only those who found the other know, that zip in your heart that life is about to dump you upside down and take you on the most outrageous ride of your life, so you better buckle up and hold tight because if love has anything to do with it you won't be sleeping tonight! You'll be tossing and turning for the next couple of weeks until you're pushed together by the branches and your lips touch ever so soft and sweet in a blossoming tree, until she pushes her body against your so tight it makes something in you you never knew you had come to life. And then he follows you for days, weeks and months, while you decide if you want to be with this guy for any amount of time and when you finally decide you end up being with him for the rest of your life.

Thirteen, fourteen in July, seems too young to meet the love of your life, but if you play your cards just right and you pray every night even miracles can happen in the worst of times. 

Sixteen, seventeen in August, you've got everything planned out in your life until some blonde floozy comes around and wrecks it all from the outside in, suddenly your plates full and you don't even know where to begin. 

Oh but it's love, and you're doing circles around each other trying to get the other's attention and did I mention that your both itchin' to get another kiss yes it's love. 

Fourteen, fifteen in July, your life's a wreck you're a mess and everyone you ever loved has left you or died except for him, you just want to fit in but you stick out like a sore thumb and you've been dating for a while and he's the only one that can bring a smile to your face but your mom thinks you're a disgrace and she's gaslighting you but you don't know it yet, you don't understand why she can't just love you and be proud of you but she never will and your dad screams, he's on too many drugs to support you anymore you've lost count of how many times he promised it'd be the last time and you're upset, depressed, starving yourself and a mess. . . But so very in love. 

Seventeen, eighteen in August, overwhelming doctor appointments are finally ending you've got your medication but your heads still spinning because you live in a broken home, your on your own side and no one else has your back because you are the back bone. What can you do? You're huddled up inside with head phones on to block out the screaming, you're on the edge, and everyone knows why, you've got a less than fair life but no one speaks up for you so you just hide. . . What's life's meaning? You're not living unless you're with her at least those days are growing closer together so you start to feel better before she runs off again. . . You know you love her. 

Undoubtedly it's love, a messy kind of love with screaming and fighting and pain, but the fights are getting shorter the rage is getting smaller and the love is growing bigger and the passion is still stronger. Rolling around in a blanket on the couch all tangled up careful not to make a sound, this is your life now. Late night conversations with someone you actually know, the pictures come from a loving source and the temptation is there but you're still taking it slow. . .

Sixteen, going on seventeen in July, you're sick you could be dying but nothing is going to keep you from fighting because you're in love!!!  You found a friend who is there for you through thick and thin to the very end and his family is yours now, and you couldn't be more happy! The tears are over flowing with joy when you stare into his eyes because now they are so alive, when you first met you couldn't see a thing but now they are full of color and life just like you guys you're healthy and strong three years still counting on!! You found the one in your life that makes you whole, you couldn't be more different then him but it's a perfect balance all in all. You're inspired by him, he is your new muse, the poems and art work keep flowing out of you. You're on fire, maybe literally it doesn't matter, all that matter is he's yours and you're his forever!

Eighteen, going on nineteen in August. You're tired, stressed out and depressed. This year, this semester it's all been a mess, but she's there. Whenever you need a pick me up she lifts you up like ten feet up and smiles in hopes the worry will go away even if it's just for a little while. You want to marry her, you want to spend forever with her driving you crazy because she knows just what you need even if she talks to much and won't listen always... She's there and she cares and she's tried her damnedest you know it. You want to be able to support her, and your family so they don't have to suffer any more, you're the back bone of a broken home and she's your brace to keep you straight and hold you up when you're sore. It's a process, it's a journey, but it's one you're willing to take. This could be your best decision or worst mistake. . . . 

  Oh yes it's love, like a bullet to the chest! Bite marks on her breast and he's all out of breath yes it's love. The best kind there is, more than skin deep there are two hearts but only one beat in this kind of love. When two people become one it doesn't start at the alter it's long before any of that's even begun, it's when your flaws complement each other, your imperfections are perfected and you balance each other out, a perfect combination of sweet and sour, when you're exhausted she could go on for several more hours and picks up where you left off kind of love. The you hold her to the ground she takes your hand and shows you around kind of thing that didn't need a ring to be legit. Because when she is loud and outgoing you are shy and quiet, and when those to mix instead of contrasting it builds a perfect pair so complete that it doesn't matter if your different at all, sad songs, party songs, heavy metal, musicals, healthy food, junk food, soda or juice, hot or cold, rain or shine, black or white. All these things come together and if you look deep inside just like Ying and Yang you'll find a little of both in each of their lives now. 

It doesn't matter if you plant a birch and an oak right next to each other, if their joined at the roots and both trunks intertwine it makes one tree. 

And that is why, at seventeen going on eighteen in July; nineteen going on twenty in August, They began the journey of a new life, two bodies, two unique and independent minds, two perfect halves made one, beautiful, perfect, whole.