Poems of a Lost Girl

Christmas Past

Flashes like lightning crashes of memories from the past,

I see the lights, distorted laughter and shards of broken glass.

I can't remember what was said, but I know just how I felt,

I knew there was a lot of drinking and often people yelled.

I see the tree, and around it people who loved me.

Now I see their graves, or they moved away and now have all left me.

I feel empty, I feel sick and I think I need a drink.

Maybe if I drink enough I'll forget to think.

Guilty because I'm poor, ashamed because I'm alone.

What's the point of holidays if you can't live comfortably in your own home?

I never saw the point, they didn't make any sense.

And now I remember the years before, I still hate this nonsense!

I don't want snow, or mistletoe.

All I want is peace of mind, 

and If It's not in this dark room, and I can't convince myself I am fine. . .

Then I'll find it at the bottom of this bottle until I can't write another line.