Always Running (MATURE CONTENT)

CHAPTER 39

Nessa sat in the sunroom waiting for Lucas to come home. He had left assuming that she was going to run again. The front door opened and closed, and she heard heavy footsteps thinking that it was Lucas. When Henley came into the sunroom she smiled at him.

"What are you doing, darlin'?" He sat in the wicker chair across from her.

"What do you mean?"

"Lucas is broken. He's giving up and I've never seen that man give up. What the hell are you doing? What's going on with you?"

Nessa stood up and sat back down, which was not as easy as it had been a few weeks ago. Henley had never used a harsh tone with her, and she didn't like it now.

"I don't know Henley why don't you tell me what I'm doing?"

"I know women like you, darlin'."

"Women like me. And what kind of woman am I, pray tell."

Henley let out a sigh and ran a hand down his face. "You've been through hell and back and I know what kind of hell you come from. I was there. I know that you're so hurt and so broken that whenever something good comes along you question it and doubt that it could be true or even last. You always wait for the other shoe to drop, don't you?"

Nessa said nothing.

"Lucas loves you, broken pieces and all. He loves everything about you, but the way he sounded on the phone today was so foreign to me that I swear the man had been crying. So, I ask again what the fuck are you doing, darlin'? You're pushing away the best man you could've ever found...aside from me of course."

Nessa laughed through the tears that had escaped her eyes.

"You can't let your scars define you. Your scars tell you where you've been, they don't tell you where you're going, and you're letting your scars lead the way. You've been knocked down more times than I've ever seen a woman get knocked down, but falling is not what defines you, what defines you is how well you get back up after being knocked down. Don't let the bastard that scarred you take the best thing that ever happened to you, and ever will happen to you. Men like Luke don't come around often, darlin'." Henley stood up and kissed her head and walked out as fast as he had walked in.

Nessa sat for hours in the sunroom waiting for Lucas to come home. She had never thought about what Henley said. She had been letting her scars lead her way. She had been running, thinking that somehow every time she ran she would come closer to finding what she wanted and needed. She had never realized that what she wanted and needed was right in front of her. She stood up and walked out of the sunroom and made her way to the front door. She was going to track her husband down and fix what she had so stupidly caused without meaning to. Nessa reached for the door handle and the door opened showing a beaten and broken Lucas.

"I was coming to find you," she said, taking a few steps back so he could walk inside.

"I thought you were gone, baby. Sorry I..."

Nessa wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed him as more tears ran down her face. She had hurt the one man that had always loved and cared for her, and it was killing her.

"Let's go up and I'll run you a bath and we can talk okay, Mac?" She took his hand and led him up the stairs and into their bedroom. She closed the door and didn't lock it that time and Lucas noticed. A small flutter of hope rose in his heart.

"I want you to know that I love you, Mac and I also want you to know that I'm done running. I want you and our babies and nothing more. I want you always and forever, Mac."