HIS MISTAKE(2nd BOOK) | 18+ BL(BOYS LOVE)

EIGHTY ONE : NICK AND QUADE

When I opened my eyes I realized I fell asleep in my parent's house,I hear noises and there's a knock on my door.
I dragged myself from the floor as I opened the door,Mom came to bring me downstairs.
I see Quade and Nea,she shows her hands.
"You guys are engaged",I say as she nods happily.
"Congratulations",I say as I hug her.
"Thank you",she says.
"Thank you for taking care of her",I tell Quade and he nods looking at Nea fondly.

My eyes burn as I remember Warren's words,he said he wanted to marry a person he's in love with in next 10 years,already 5 years is gone actually more than five years,does that mean he will marry someone else within 5 years?
"Nick",mom squeezes my arms as I look at her.
"You are still hurting yourself",she says.
"Atleast if you can't say things to us then it's fine,tell Shepherd Atleast,he...he is your friend and a Psychologist too,he might help you,you have to talk,actually I already talked to him,can you meet him tomorrow?",she asks her voice filled with hurt as I nod slowly.

NEXT DAY IN THE MORNING
There's party going on downstairs,there are people,dad's VVIP clients,MY VVIP clients,mom's friends and their sons and daughters,Cleo,Rio,Ryan,Quade and Nea.
Everyone are celebrating the proposal,I tried to stay but those mom's friend's daughters are eyeing me and coming onto me,before party can even end,I may end their lives,I already killed one person and surprisingly I liked it, but I can't just kill those girls because they are flirting with me but I might hurt so I ended up coming upstairs to my room,that's better for me and definitely for them too before I slither their throats.
There's a knock on my door,I will kill if it's any one of those girls.
"Go away",I yell.
Door opens and I see Quade,he closes the door and sits on the couch watching me.

"What are you doing here Quade?",I ask.
"Those girls are making me lose my shit,before I end up chopping them I thought I would stay away from them",he says with a Straight face.
I sigh heavily,"I killed a person",I say,I don't know why I said though.
"I killed my Father,so what's your point?",he says as he takes a sip from his wine.
Right I forgot he killed his own dad,yup no big deal at all by the way.
"Why are you here?",I ask.
"Yeah bout that tell me what you did that made you drink like an alcoholic in a daylight",he says.
"I don't wanna talk about that",I tell him.
"I will stay here until you tell",he says.

What am I supposed to tell?
What an asshole I was?

"I said so many mean things to him",I whisper.
"And?"
"What do you want me to say?",I ask him.
"From very start to the very end",he says.

QUADE
He sighs as he starts,"I first met him in our building,you know the shop,when I met him it was so awkward,I thought he was Nea's boyfriend then I found out he is gay",he smiles softly,"He liked me from the very start",he chuckles,"You know he even bit my earlobe and he couldn't even meet my eyes after that and I even thought he might be someone who's trying to hurt our family",he smiles looking at the window,"One day I went to his home,that's where everything started,he even gave me a chance to run away",he says still looking outside the window,"But something happened to me when he kissed me for the first time and it's like I didn't knew how to go back home,I let him do everything he wants,he told me if I regret this then I shouldn't be in his arms when he wakes up,I think that's when I started to mess up",his hand trembles,"I left him next morning but goddamn lust was consuming,I wanted him physically,so all we did was having sex,he wanted to be like a normal couple but because I didn't wanted people to know so I never let him tell anyone",his tears starts to fall,"Besides me being an asshole,he still loved me,he used to say he loves me",he is choking on his tears,"You know Quade,no matter how many times I have hurt him,he used to come back to me,he.....because he loved me but now that he is not coming back...it scares me,maybe....he doesn't loves me enough,maybe the love he has for me is fading",he's looking at his arms for some reason,"He...he was this close to me Quade and I couldn't even hold him,whenever I used to be pissed he used to cheer me up,when I was hungry he always used to feed me with his amazing cooking skills",he says smiling weakly,"He said he only cooks whose important to him,I WAS IMPORTANT TO HIM,but I feel like I'm not anymore. On New Year I even shoved him away because he was about to kiss me,he was right back then,I was his Boyfriend of course he has every right to kiss me but I fucked up that too,I told to take a break and left him,that day if I knew I would be hearing his I love you for the last time,if I knew that would be the last time I would be kissing and hugging him",he puts his hands on his chest as he drops to his knees as he cries,"ONLY IF I KNEW I would lose him after that then I wouldn't have let him go,I would've kept him in my arms,I would've tugged him to me,he always wanted me in his arms when he wakes up,only if I had did that then today I wouldn't be like this,I need him Quade",he says looking at me,"I need him so much it hurts,it hurts that I don't know where he is right now,everything in my body pains,you know despite everything,all he gave is love to me and in return all I gave is embarrassing him in public,keeping him in the dark,insulting him",he cries and cries,"You know the person who spread the rumors about Nea? He kidnapped us",he says as my blood boils,I was tempting to ask where he is but I will do that later,"That bastard slither my thigh and my hand not too deep though but deep enough to make me dizzy and unconscious,at that time I had cold and fever so he had me in his lap,he wrapped me with his warmth and held me for hours and hours,he even hurt that bastard because he hurt me,he was ready to kill but I ended up killing him,anyway he was protecting me",fuck if that bastard was alive I would have tortured him for weeks,"On my birthday I said so many mean things,I.....I...even said that he and Nea...might love eachother",he whispers and I'm gripping the wine glass in my Hand so tightly that I might break it,this fucking dickhead,"I wasn't thinking at that time,I don't know what I was saying,he even made a cake for me and I didn't even taste it, he threw a party for me and I didn't even thank him",he looks at his ring finger slowly brushing the spot with his thumb,"He gave me this customized ring that he said he would give it to his future boyfriend and he gave it to me but I....I threw it on his face and told it was never meant to be mine,I told him that he turned me into this,I told him that our relationship was embarrassing and disgusting",he is crying too much.

"You were over the line",I tell him and he nods.
"I was, I made him cry,he begged me to stay and he begged me to love him and I said I didn't fucking love him",he says drinking directly from the the bottle.
"He said to Shepherd that he felt like he was surrounded with his family and I said him not to meet Nea and Mom and I couldn't give anything to him,all I gave was pain for life",he says as Nea enters our room.
She only sees me as she comes and straddles my lap and kisses me roughly,"those bitches didn't touch you right?",she asks as I nod.
She happily hugs me tightly.
"You continue",I say as Nea looks back at Nick.
She sighs heavily as she got up and took the whisky bottle away from him.
"Are you trying to drown yourself with it?",she yells.
"Give it back Nea",he whispers.
"Nick listen to me,I tried to convince him but he is not ready to come and moreover he's changed now",Nea says and he immediately looks at her.
"What do you mean?",he asks.
"When I went back he wasn't himself anymore,he is a different person now,he is rude,harsh and so much different,it's like he has shut himself down,in those two years when I stayed in his house,he cried too much,he didn't knew that I knew,so I sat in front of his room and I went back to my room when he stopped crying but that was for that 2 years but in these last 2 months,I never saw him cry or heard it,there's no emotion in him,I even told him that you love him but he just sent me away",she says as he cries.

"Are you saying he doesn't love me anymore?",he whispers and Nea shakes her head.
"I don't know Nick,all I know is this version of Warren is different and rude",she says as he goes blank.
"Nick...Nick..?",Nea calls but he is staring the floor.
"He needs time",I tell her.
"How much time?",he whispers,"Still how many years,it's been five years Quade not like five days,he must've been blaming himself,I made him this way,I did this to him,I'm to blame,it was my fault,it is my fault",he says as he walks slowly to the bed and plopped on it.
"I want to sleep",he says not looking at us.
Nea looks at me unable to do anything.
But somehow I understand him,I was a drunken mess for 2 years,if it was 5 then I would've died,I chose to ruin my health,atleast he's chosen a better way,he walks and walks and walks and walks until he feels dizzy and then he goes to sleep.
Five years god I have no idea how he is enduring it,I just hope I can help him in some way,not that I care that much,not that I feel he is like my brother,it's just that Nea is worried and I Don't like when she is worried.