HIS MISTAKE(2nd BOOK) | 18+ BL(BOYS LOVE)

SIXTY EIGHT : NICK

ONE MONTH LATER
"I can't able to date,I went on one date and she touched my hand and next thought that crossed my mind was to hurt her",I tell Shepherd.
"I thought you were already dating Warren",he says.
It's Been more than a month and today I'm listening to his name.
"I'm not with him anymore",I tell him as he scans my face.
"It's because you LOVE HIM",he says as I glare at him.
"I DON'T LOVE HIM and I don't know why does it matter with me dating anyone",I tell him.
"You don't like anyone else touching you because you love being touched by Warren",he says.
"That's not True",I gritted out.
"Enough Nick,stop being a stubborn asshole,if you still think you don't love him then get out",he says.
"I'm a Psychologist not your love specialist,people come here for real problems,when you will be broken come back,till then don't show your face,I didn't knew you could be this coward",he says.
"What do you mean?",I rasp at him.
"Why did you break up with him?",he asks.
"Because I'm feeling embarrassed",I tell him.
"When you took his dick in you or when you buried your dick in him,didn't you feel embarrassing and disgusting at that time?",he asks as my heart aches again.

He's right I didn't feel anything at that time,I just didn't wanted people to know.
"Get out Nick,come back when you have a serious problem",he says as I got up and I rushed to my car.

TWO MONTHS LATER
My chest keeps on hurting,something must be broken inside me.
I went to the hospital.
"How can I help you sir?",a receptionist asks me.
"I have a chest pain,I don't know what is wrong",I tell her.
She sent me to a room. They did ECG test on me and whatever test they do for whole body and they said that report will be ready by evening.
I waited and when the report was out they sent me to a doctor.
"Come in",she says as I took a seat in front of her.
"I checked your reports but nothing is wrong with you Mr.Lexington",she says.
"No,something is definitely wrong with my body for three months now",I tell her.

She checks the reports and shakes her head,"NO sir,nothing is wrong with you",she says.
"Why don't you contact a Psychologist,I think it's related to mental health,because physically you are fit",she says as I nod at her and got up.

AT SHEPHERD'S CLINIC
"Something is wrong with my chest",I tell him.
"Go to the hospital,why are you here?",he says looking Something in his diary.
"I went but they said nothing is wrong with my body",I tell him.
He finally looks up to see me,"Why is it hurting?",he asks and I shake my head.
"OK when do you feel like it's hurting,like if you specifically think about something or anything?",he asks as I stare at him.
"Answer Nick,if you don't talk then I won't be able to help you",he says.
"Whenever I think about him",I whisper quietly.
"Louder",he rasps.
"WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT HIM",I yell at him.

He just watches me,"Didn't you tell me that you don't love him?",he asks as I nod.
"Then why does it hurt when you think about him?",he asks.
"I don't know",I tell him.
"OK why do you even think about him?",he asks.
"I don't know but he is in my damn mind for 24/7",I tell him.
"Get out Nick",he says as I look at him.
"Shepherd please tell me what's wrong with me?",I plead.
"Well listen then,you are fucking in love with Warren but your asshole mind doesn't wants to accept yet,because you never dated a guy before but the problem is you are not gay or Bisexual too and that's confusing you and YOU ONLY LOVE WARREN,he is an exception",he yells as I stare at him.

"I don't know where he is? He isn't even coming anymore. From New Year till now,I haven't seen him",he says and my heart beats faster and faster.
"What do you mean?",I ask him.
New Year means it's been 5 months.
Where is he?
"Means 5 months goddammit,he hasn't come for 5 months now",he gritted out.
I nod forcefully but my mind stuck on where he might be?
"You haven't seen him?",he asks.
"Last I saw him was on my birthday",I tell him.
"That's February,now it's May",he says while I nod.

"How did he react when you broke up with him?",he asks.
I remember how he reacted,he begged,he cried and at last he became angrier,my chest aches again as I press my hand to my chest.
"He....he cried",I tell him unable to look at him.
"He cried,I see,was it fun watching him cry?",he asks and pain feels unbearable.
"No..no I wasn't thinking at that time,now I remember I said so many things to hurt him and I even said him not to meet.....Nea And Mom",I tell him and he throws his pen at me as I look up at me.
"You fucking idiot",he rasps.
"He said he finally felt like he was surrounded with his family nowadays and you took that away from him?",he says and my eyes stings and chest aches even more and more.

"What? What do you mean?",I ask as my tears finally fall.
"It's not my story to tell",he says.
"Please",I plead.
"Get out Nick but Fucking listen to me very carefully,YOU WILL FUCKING REGRET THIS,ALL OF THIS,YOUR ONE MISTAKE HAS HURT HIM,WELL NOT ONE MISTAKE,MANY MISTAKES HAS HURT HIM AND IT'S GONNA HURT YOU TOO AND WHEN YOU REALIZE IT'S GONNA BE TOO LATE,TOO FUCKING LATE",he says and my tears keeps on running down my cheeks as my eyes blurs.
"I'm not telling you as a Psychologist,I'm telling you as your friend,you better make up your damn mind otherwise you will LOSE HIM,and you know him,he's not gonna forgive you easily,he may not forgive you at all",he says as my head spins and I stood up and left his clinic.