SUBMISSIVE 3: LENNOX SEVILLA

CHAPTER ELEVEN

ELEVEN

Hawak ni Raiza ang kwintas na bigay ni Lennox. It's been two months. At hindi niya kayang tanggalin 'yon sa kanyang leeg. It was gold rope necklace na may pendant na globe. At ang globe pendant ay napapalibutan ng blue sapphire gemstones na naka konekta sa case ng globe, it was a spinning globe.

Sapphires are believed to symbolize wisdom, virtue, good fortune, and holiness for royals.
It is said that sapphire crystals are protective stones that can shield you from negative energy and harm. In addition, it can also rid you of your negative thought patterns.

And the globe? It is a reminder for her to his indirect confession that his love for her is like the globe, bilog at walang hanggan.

Pero hindi naipaglaban.

She sighed. She took off the necklace from her neck and put it on the red box na binili niya kahapon sa mall.

Kailangan niyang pakawalan ang lalaki. That way, she'll have her peace of mind. For her mental health. Na alam niyang na sa bingit na ng pagiging lanta. Kasi tuwing nasa harapan siya ng salamin, nakikita niya ang kwintas. At sinisimbolo niyon ang pag-ibig niyang hindi naging kanya at kailanman ay hindi na magiging kanya.

Nakaka-drain magmahal no? Nakakalanta ng utak. Nakakawala ng sanity.

Siguro tama nga sila, kapag nasanay ka na may isang taong kausap mo araw-araw, katext mo, araw-araw o katawagan mo every time may chance, kapag dumating yung araw na bigla na lang nawala, you feel empty.

And that feeling sucks. Painful, yet, you need to swallow.

Wala e. Sinanay mo na 'yong sarili mo. Sa ganoon, sasanayin mo din ang sarili mo ng wala 'yong taong yun kahit pa puso mo ang kalaban mo.

That's life. This is life we need to dance. But then she was asking, or maybe wondering why is it that destiny allowed them to meet when there's no way for them to be together?

That sucks. Big time.

Magpakatotoo lang tayo dito no, masama bang ma-inlove? Masama bang umasa? Lahat tayo marupok at magiging marupok, kahit 'di natin aminin, minsan sa buhay natin makakaranas tayo na magkagusto o magmahal sa isang tao,  kung mahalin tayo pabalik eh 'di well and good, kung hindi naman, e 'di hindi. Accept and move forward.

Ganyan talaga ang paghahanap ng makakasama sa buhay, basta huwag na lang ipagpilitan at huwag din kalimutan ang self respect, kapag hindi talaga pwede, e 'di let go, kahit sobrang hirap, kailangan. Huwag lang tayong dumating sa point na magmakaawa na tayo para lang tayo ang piliin.

Walang masama sa pagmamahal ng sobra, huwag lang hayaang maging kawawa.

In her case, Lennox loved her. She is in love too. But at the end of the day, hindi sila pwede at kahit kailan hindi magiging pwede. He was now committed to someone else, masakit lang talaga sa part na hindi man lang niya naranasan maging girlfriend ng taong mahal niya.

She felt the love and care but not officially labeled as his. And that now, is her greatest what if.

She came back to her old self, taong bundok. She deactivated all of her social media accounts. Nagpalit ng number. Ang nakaka-alam lang ay ang tatlong babaeng kaibigan, at ang pamilya niya. Even Calvin, she cut him off.

Best friend e.

She wanted to focus. Kaya lahat ng may kinalaman kay Lennox ay  iniwasan niya.

For the last two years, she maintained her grades. She was in dark situation. Pero pinilit niyang magtapos. She aimed high. And now graduating..