Volcano | Bangchan

What now ?

Sooki's POV

I spent the following hour relating in detail the two nights where me and the boys kissed. I had no clue why I didn't tell them earlier. Watching my best friend's reaction was priceless. Nomi couldn't help but take a picture of their disgusted faces when I told them about the way Chan and I ended up kissing. I was talking about their leader, they didn't want to imagine him like this. Han couldn't hold it anymore and stood up covering his ears with his hands : "Aaaaaah, it's like reliving the red lights era !". I laughed my ass off at his comment. 

When came the moment to tell them about my kiss with Hyunjin, their reactions were softer. Han was slightly smiling, and Seungmin was nodding like it was evident it would happen. Now that they knew absolutely everything, it was time to go back to the present and figure out what to do. Han was the first to get in the problem : "Okay okay. 
Now that we are well aware of everything, how can you figure out what to do ?". I shrugged. "No idea, Ji. I don't even know how I feel about them...". Nomi, Jisung and I thought about a solution while Seungmin was just observing us. I told you already, he isn't good with sentimental stuff.

After a moment of reflection, Nomi proposed something : "Okay, I got an idea. Close your eyes. Let's go back to that practice room. Remember every detail about that night. The smells, the colors, everything that helps you get the memories back.". I obeyed and did as she said, it was surprisingly working. It was like I was reliving the moment. "You're in front of Hyunjin, he's grabbing you by the waist. He's about to kiss you. How do you feel ?". I concentrated as I remembered what I felt. I felt his hands on my waist, the intensity of his gaze on me, the tickles of his breath against my face... What was I thinking ? "I... I wasn't sure if this was a good idea. It felt weird, but I wanted this. A part of me didn't push him away. As if I wanted to know the answer to a question I've never asked. And his lips mesmerized me. I couldn't help but stare.". No one wanted to react, for now, so Nomi continued : "He is kissing you. How do you feel now ?". I made an unsure face : "It felt... delicate, reassuring in a way. It was Hyunjin, so it was kinda... comfortable ? I felt myself leaning in it like it was natural. It felt good.". 

I wanted to open my eyes, but Nomi cut me off : "Okay, now let's return to that Saturday night. You're in the kitchen, Chan is in front of you, he leans closer and is obviously flirting with you. How do you feel at that moment ? ". I bit my lips at the memory. "I... I was expecting him to cross that barrier. I wanted him to kiss me. Every inch of my body wanted him to kiss me. He was teasing me. We were playing with each other's egos, pushing the other to go further in that game. I was intoxicated by his presence, by his closeness.". Nomi's voice softened : "He does as you want. He gives in and kisses you. What's going on inside your head ?". I smiled unconsciously, reliving the moment. I could feel his lips everywhere on my neck, on my jaw, on my lips. The simple thought of him smiling against my skin made me bite my lip, sending shivers down my spine. "Fireworks. My whole body was craving him, and I didn't want it to stop. I felt every fiber in me awaken to his touch. His lips made me feel things I've never felt before and I was dying to explore more of those sensations.". 

As I realized what I just said, my eyes shot open and I gave an apologetic smile to the boys. They were looking at me with a repulsed expression. "Sorry guys... ". Han was trying so hard not to be disgusted. "Nah, it's okay, if that's what you felt... but let's not talk about it ever again, please.".

Nomi gave me a wary look and tried to bring me to a conclusion : "So... What do you conclude after making a point on your feelings ?". I threw myself back, laying in a starfish position, and groaned : "I don't knooooooooow.". Seungmin rolled his eyes and huffed, which made me raise my head. "Spill it, you arrogant ass.". He smirked. "You perfectly know, Soo. I don't even have to say it.". Han gave me a small smile : "Bug, deep down you already know. I know you. You don't want to hurt him, but you can't control your feelings. He is mature enough to understand that, don't worry.". His words comforted me. How does he always know what to say to bring peace to my mind ?