Volcano | Bangchan

It matters to me

I went to Seok's home after a long and tiring day. The rumors were spreading so fast, but JYP was on the subject, trying to prevent it from spreading further. As they said, no statement, no comment, and the keyword : deny. Act like it was nothing serious enough to take action. I was absolutely exhausted, and the only thing I wanted to do was relax in my boyfriend's arms. I missed him so badly. 

I came in and put my shoes and my coat in the closet. Seok wasn't greeting me as usual. I shout to draw his attention : "Babe, I'm home !". No answer. I felt like something was odd, so I went for him. As I entered the living room, I spotted him sitting on the couch. He had his head low, looking down. Something wasn't right, I could feel it. I came to him cautiously.

"...Seok ? Is everything alright ?". He bitterly replied : "Oh no, Sooki. Nothing is right.". That stopped me on the track. He never called me by my name. Something definitely wasn't right. "What's wrong ?" I asked in a whisper as anxiety started building up in my stomach. He put his head in his hands as he replied even more bitterly : "What's wrong ? Well, you tell me ! Since when has it been going on ?". I frowned, trying to reach his gaze. "I'm not following... What are you talking about ?". He stood up abruptly and pointed at his tablet, raising his voice : "Stop playing dumb ! It's all over the news, and even though they can't identify you, I could recognize the cap !".

My stomach dropped. The rumors went to him. I should have told him in the first place. I should have explained it to him first thing in the morning when I found out. But I was so worried about Chan and the group that I forgot about his reaction. It was so much nonsense that I didn't think about him thinking I cheated. I tried calming him down, but he interrupted me : "Seokmin, let me explain –". "It's Chan, isn't it ? Of course it's him. It has always been him. Why am I even surprised ?". My eyes widened as he kept reeling : "I can't believe this. I don't want to believe this. But a part of me knew the day would come.". I raised my voice just to stop him : "Seok, please stop ! I didn't cheat, I would never ! I love you !".

He finally looked at me, and my heart ached. His eyes were teary, his face was tinted with anger and sadness. My beautiful sunshine, the man who was always smiling bright, was no longer there. He was heartbroken over things that weren't true. "None of this is true, love. These photos had been taken yesterday while he was taking me back home after my movie night at the dorm. I was cold so he gave me his jacket. That's all. I didn't cheat.". He looked up to prevent the tears from falling and looked back at me. "Why were you walking together along Han's river ? Why didn't you take a cab ? Why was he standing so close to you ?". I took a step in his direction. "I wanted to go for a walk because I love walking in Seoul by night, you know it. Chan insisted on accompanying me to make sure I was safe. The photos were taken just after he put his jacket on my back, that's probably why he was standing this close.".

He started pacing back and forth, having an inner battle. I felt hopeless. The only thing I could do was hope he trusted me enough to believe me. I was so desperate, watching him. I started babbling about everything I had in mind : "Please Love, you have to believe me. I had tried to convince all the JYP direction today, I am exhausted. But if I have to be up all night to convince you too, I will. I'll fight for you. Do you want me to call the members to explain it to you ? Do you want me to call Bang-". He stopped and pointed at me, the anger taking over : "Don't you dare say his name right now.". The anger in his eyes felt like a punch. I stumbled back. I felt my hands shaking from anxiety. He had to believe me, I did nothing wrong. 

I went for him and took his face between my shaken hands, forcing him to look me in the eyes. "Please, tell me you believe me." I whispered. He held my gaze, searching for the truth in my eyes. After a moment, he sighed : "Yes. Yes, I believe you.". My whole body relaxed as I squeezed him in a hug. I was so relieved. I buried my face in his chest. "God, you scared me.". He squeezed me hard, not saying a word. After a few minutes, I let go of him. I clapped in my hands and tried to lighten up the mood by changing the subject. "We need to eat something delicious to ease the tension. What do you want to eat ? My treat.". I turned back to grab my phone, but he held my wrist. "I think this is an opportunity to talk about something I avoided for too long.".