Volcano | Bangchan

Unspoken truth

I fell asleep around 6 AM, not even realizing it. It was hard to fall asleep, as I was replaying the car scene over and over in my head. After a few episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine to ease the tension in my body, I finally fell asleep. After a while, I was woken up by someone crashing over me. "I told you to wake her up, not to crush her !". Seungmin gently sat on the side of the bed and tapped Han's butt. He, on the other side, was squeezing me so hard I couldn't free myself. "Hi Sookiiiiii, time to wake up.". I opened an eye and managed to free my arms to hug Han. "Just a few minutes more, please," I mumbled with my raspy voice. 

"Wow. Did someone ever tell you that your raspy voice was kinda attractive ?". My eyes shot open. That voice wasn't one of my usual morning alarm. "You're right Hyun, she can almost compete with my deep voice !" Felix joked. I raised my head and dressed an inventory : I woke up 5min ago. I have Han on top of me, and Seungmin by my side. Hyunjin is sitting down on my chair, Felix on his laps. Great.

"Han, you have 5 seconds to move before I crash on you too.". I closed my eyes and sighed. That voice was Bangchan's. Wait. Did he just say what I think he said ? I felt Han getting away faster than lightning, and I didn't even have time to realize that I felt someone else crushing me. I heard Channie's baby voice coming through my ear : "Hi sweetie. Did you sleep well ?". I could feel his hot breath on my ear, and that simple thought made me blush so hard that I had to cover my face with my blanket. He gently laughed, and I swear this was so far my favorite sound alarm. Should I record it ? I put my blanket off my face and complained : "Guys. It's Saturday. Why are you waking me this early ?".

Seungmin pinched my forehead : "Because we said yesterday that we were going to have a trip for the day, you pabo. What have you done all night to have this horrible face in the morning ?". I side-eyed him. "Do you want me to beat your ass right now ?". He laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "Looks like someone is grumpy today.". I tried to kick him with my feet, but Chan squeezed me to prevent me from moving, and whispered in my ear : "Don't listen to him. You're pretty with your grumpy face.". I pushed him away, which made him laugh even more. "I don't have a grumpy face !". 

Hyunjin and Felix stood up and started looking in my dressing to find my OOTD, as my baby bread came in with a cup of hot chocolate. He sat on the other side of the bed and handed me the cup. I thanked him. "You win the award of the best kid today, baby bread.". He smiled warmly and put his head on my shoulder. Han, who sat lotus position in front of me, tilted his head to the side. "Seung is right though. You look sleep-deprived. You had a sleepless night ?". I took a sip of my drink before answering vaguely. "I spent the night playing game with Seventeen and didn't look at the time. I went to sleep around 6.".

Hyunlix had decided what I was wearing and threw the clothes on my bed. Hyunjin ordered : "Okay, enough tchit-tchat for now. Everyone gets out, and you (he pointed at me) get changed. We're leaving in 10.". I yawned and stretched, not fully awake. The boys prepared some warm clothes that looked comfy : a pair of black leggings lined with fleece, a white hoodie with a light blue winter jacket. As I got out of my room, everyone had left except for Chan and Minho, who were waiting for me. Minho smiled at me. "All ready kitten ? Let's go !". 

We were about to go but Chan stopped me : "Wait. You forgot something.". I gave him a confused look. He smiled and put a black beanie on my head and a scarf around my neck. As he was doing that, he used the opportunity to apologize : "About yesterday...I'm sorry. I overreacted.". I softly smiled. "You were an ass. But that's okay, I was the one canceling on our plans. I deserve it.". He looked at me with an apologetic pout but changed the subject. He took a step back and smiled proudly : "Now you are all ready. After you miss.". I jumped in the car composed of Minho and Han in the front, Seungmin, Bangchan and I in the back seat. The car ride wasn't long (about 30min), but I had no clue where the boys wanted to go for the day. I passed out quickly on Chan's shoulder, exhausted from my sleepless night. But I didn't regret that night. At all.

I woke up as someone gently stroked my cheek. "Wake up, angel. We reached our destination.". I opened my eyes and shyly smiled. He called me angel. We all gathered outside the vehicle, and looked around. We were at the Bukhansan National Park. As I figured it out, I immediately looked at Minho, who was already immersed in his element. Seungmin whispered in my ear : "It was Han's choice. No wonder why he chose this place, huh ?". He winked, and we both looked glanced at our best friend, who was looking fondly at his soulmate. Since it was February, the air was cold, and there were only a few people crazy enough to go hiking. And obviously, we were part of those. 

We climbed for almost an hour and a half before reaching the top of the mountain. The air was even colder here. Nomi was hiding herself in Binnie's arms, Felix and Hyunjin were doing the same, as well as Han, who was sharing his coat with Lee Know. Real cuties over there. Of course, the two savages Maknae were facing the cold by themselves. I.N was taking photos of everyone with Hyun's camera. I caught Bangchan a little further, sat on the edge of the cliff. I joined him, sat next to him, and put my head on his shoulder. We were both lost in our thoughts, silently admiring the view in front of us.

"Can I ask you a question ?" Chan softly asked. He didn't wait for my answer and shot: "What's happening between you and Dokyeom ?". I froze. I wasn't expecting that question. What should I answer ? The truth ? But what was the truth ? Since yesterday, even I had no clue of what was going on between the two of us. I looked at the view, thinking deeply about the right answer. He was looking at me the whole time, trying to figure out what my silence meant. After a few minutes of silence, I replied, my eyes still lost in the sight in front of me : "Honestly, I don't know.". What's the point in denying ? After all, we're just friends. "I like him. He makes me feel special. I don't really know what we are for each other, but he is important to me.". Chan lowered his head. He seemed lost in his own thoughts. I can't explain why, but this conversation seemed deeper than it looked. He looked at his fingers and whispered : "You are special. Everybody should show you how special you are.". I glanced at him quickly before going back to admiring the view, and I commented : "Sometimes, it's harder than it seems.". He raised his head to watch the view as well. "Yeah. Sometimes, it seems impossible. Sometimes, there are too many obstacles.". I stated : "But as someone told me one day : If you want, you can. Just do everything to make it happen.". I smiled at myself, reliving the day Seokmin convinced me to come see him on stage. Chan sighed. "If only it could be that simple.". I suddenly felt sad, like my heart was heavy as I whispered : "Why does it have to be so complicated ?". He put his hand on mine, still not looking at me as he softly whispered : "I wish it was easier...". We stood like this, the weight of all those unspoken words floating around us.

After a while, everyone decided it was time to go back to the cars. The rest of the hinking was silent. The discussion with Chan was playing in my head. I couldn't stop thinking about the unspoken. Seungmin noticed my silence, and as he saw Chan in the same state, he concluded it must be related. So he simply grabbed my hand and didn't let go during all the way back. As always, he was there, by my side. The rest of the day was good. We all went to eat a korean barbecue. 10 of us in a restaurant, let me tell you it wasn't peaceful. But the chaos surrounding me eased my mind, and the bit of sadness vanished to make place for the usual happiness of being with my loved ones. Jisung, Felix, Changbin and I pleaded the others to do karaoke. Doing this all together was the funniest I've done in a long time. 

The night was filled with laughs, yells, and singing.