Volcano | Bangchan

Let it go

Half an hour later, everything was back to normal. Lee Know came back and saw the kitchen immaculate. He went to look out for the culprits, but his eyes softened as he saw them on the couch, showing each other some tiktoks. Hyunjin and I.N were on their way to grab the pizzas, and our lovely couple was upstairs. He found me in the kitchen, preparing the snacks and the sodas for the movie night we finally planned. I smiled at him, and he stated : "You calmed everyone in only 30 minutes. That's a record.". He didn't miss the opportunity to tease : "No wonder why everyone says you're the mom of the group, maybe I should give up the title.". He grabbed a tray and started preparing snacks too. I giggled : "It's easy to handle them since they act like kids. Except for Seungmin.". Lee Know groaned : "I know, he's the teenager of the group. Such a brat.". I joked and poked his cheek. "I wonder from whom he learned that.". As I was bringing everything in the living room, Minho noticed only 8 glasses on the tray. Even without Bangchan, y'all were 9 with Nomi. He looked around and spotted a small bag full of snacks. He smiled at himself. I came back to grab the other trays but was stopped in the track by his question : "You're not eating with us ?". I gazed at him : he was leaning against the counter, a cheeky grin on his face. He knew, of course. This man is like a real-life scanner. There was no point in denying it, so I answered : "No, I have somewhere to go tonight.". Lee Know faked a guess : "Somewhere like... like a place you used to go to each Friday ?". I rolled my eyes. "You already know the answer. Why are you teasing ?". He playfully giggled : "Because it's funnier.". I hit his chest with my fist and finished preparing the bag. "Seriously though, I'm happy to see the Cold War coming to an end.". I fixed the bag, whispering : "It's time to let go.". I flinched as I felt arms embracing me from behind. Minho wasn't the cuddling type (except with Han, of course), which explains my surprise. He gave me a quick back hug and whispered too : "I am proud of you, Soo.". He let go, and I turned back, moved by the sudden action. I gave him a thankful smile. This boy never fails to surprise me. He's always so observant and so caring, but he barely shows it.

I grabbed my coat and put my shoes on. "Can you tell the boys ? I don't want to explain myself... I don't even know what I am gonna say.". He handed me the bag. "Don't worry about them. I will manage.". As I was about to go out, he added : "And don't worry about him, it will be okay. You two are meant to be in each other's lives.". I glanced at him with teary eyes. He gave me a supporting smile before closing the door.

I took a deep breath and walked to JYP's building. I didn't plan on going at first, but my discussion with Changbin kept me up almost all night. I was being unfair to him. After all, it wasn't his fault if he didn't feel the same way I did. No one has control over their feelings. If it could be possible, it would be easier... Anyway, I shouldn't blame him for that. And because I was selfishly trying to recover, I ended up hurting him. That was the last thing I wanted. So I needed to make up for it. I stopped at the convenience store to buy some ramen noodles. I knew he loved eating it when he was feeling stressed. As I entered JYP's building, I thought about the moment I decided to cancel tonight's plans to come here instead. I thought about him while we were on the road with Nomi. Even though I knew he wouldn't be at home, I couldn't help but feel disappointed when I saw everyone except him. It made me realize that I missed him. I wanted him to watch us scolding his kids and giggling in the back. That convinced me that I wanted him in my life regardless of my feelings. If I had to be his friend to spend time together, so be it. Without realizing it, I was in front of the studio's door. All of a sudden, I felt really nervous. How was he gonna react to me being here ? Will he be mad ? I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. There was no point in overthinking. The only way to find out was to enter. So I did.

I softly knocked on the door and waited. I never knocked before, I did it out of stress. I waited, praying that he had his earphones on. But I heard some movements inside, and his muffled voice came out : "Come in !". I came into the studio, my legs felt numb. My heart was going wild. He was focused on his laptop, probably finishing something before looking back to see who it was. I stood still, unable to make a move. He turned to face me and froze as he realized it was me. He immediately stood up, looking at me with wide eyes. "... Sooki ?". Hearing his voice brought me to life, and I started reeling : "I'm sorry for not telling you I was coming. Maybe I should have texted you. But deep down, I knew that if I thought too much about it, I wouldn't have been brave enough to come in the end. So here I am. Listen, I wanted to apologize for my behavior from those past weeks. I was being selfish. I avoided you because it was easier for me to deal with it. But I had no right to be mad at you for being honest. After all, who am I to judge how you feel ? I didn't think about how you could be hurt by my actions. And I realized it because Changbin scolded me yesterday. I never intended to hurt you, Chan. I am truly sorry if I caused you any pain. Honestly, I –". I was cut off by two strong arms bringing me closer to him. Chan hugged me tight, as if I was going to go away. At first, I tensed, but being in one of his big hugs felt so good. I relaxed and put my head against his hard chest. I could hear his heart beating fast. I melted in his embrace, and a tear escaped my eye. He rested his chin on the top of my head and whispered: "I should be the one apologizing. I was harsh to you, and I ended up hurting you. You don't know how happy I am to see you. I thought about coming to you but I wanted to give you space. I can't lose you Sooki, you are too important to me.". I smiled between my tears as I replied: "I don't want to lose you too. So let's not, okay ?". "Okay.". I don't know for how long we stood in each other arms, but my stomach broke the silence. He chuckled. "Hungry ?". I hid my face in his chest. "Sorry, I didn't eat all day.". He planted a kiss on top of my head before letting go of me, and I'm pretty sure I felt him smelling my hair. I brushed the thought and showed him my bag. "I brought you ramen noodles !". He smiled widely, showing his dimples : "How did you know I was craving it ?". I winked : "I just know you.".

And as simple as that, we started to be friends again. We ate together while keeping each other in touch with what happened during the two last weeks. He was so happy to eat ramen noodles that he cutely shook his hands like a kid. He made me listen to the new song he was currently working on. And after that, we went back to our old habits. We were working next to each other. I paused to look at him. He was focused on his laptop, half of his earphones on his ears. His curly hair was messy, and he kept making that disgusted face that proved he strangely liked what he heard. I smiled at myself. I knew I made the right decision. It felt good to have him by my side, no matter what our relationship was. I laid my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes. I felt so at peace that I drifted into sleep. Bangchan soon realized I was deep asleep. He carefully took me in his arms to delicately drop me on the couch. He covered me with a blanket and hesitated before kissing my forehead : "Thank you for coming back into my life. Sweet Dreams, baby girl.".