Shards of War: Eclipsian Secrets

Chapter 36

An hour passed as Matsu went from request to request, his day a whirlwind of different tasks. He settled disputes between neighbors, posed for pictures with kids his age, and even assisted the authorities in handling a runaway case. One moment, he was diplomatically solving issues, and the next, he was on the floor painting with a ten-year-old, the simple joy of it surprising him.

Despite the variety of tasks, Matsu found himself sort of enjoying the day. It was a change of pace from the heavy responsibilities of his usual work. Each interaction was a reminder of the different lives he was responsible for, the various ways he could make a difference, even if only in small, personal ways.

Finally, as the day was drawing to a close, Matsu received one last request. A mother had reached out, asking for his help with a birthday surprise for her son. She wanted Matsu to record a special birthday message, knowing it would mean the world to her child. Matsu, always one to go the extra mile for those who asked, agreed without hesitation.

When he arrived at the woman's home, she greeted him warmly, handing him a script she had prepared. It was a heartfelt message, full of encouragement and well wishes, clearly written with love. Matsu read it over a few times, committing it to memory, and then recorded the message. He put his heart into it, imagining the joy it would bring to the boy who would receive it.

Once the recording was finished, the mother's eyes filled with tears of gratitude. Without warning, she stepped forward and wrapped Matsu in a warm, affectionate hug.

For a moment, Matsu froze. The embrace was so unexpected, so full of a kind of love he hadn't felt in a long time. There was something deeply maternal in the way she held him, and it stirred feelings inside him that he wasn't prepared to face.

Why does this feel so...strange? Matsu thought, his mind racing. He hadn't been hugged like this since...when? His own mother? The memories were distant, faded, and the loss was something he had buried deep inside. Now, it was being unearthed, and he didn't know how to process it.

For a few seconds, he stood there, stiff and uncertain, before he finally forced himself to hug her back. But it didn't feel right. It felt like he was doing something wrong, like he was an outsider in his own emotions. The warmth of the embrace was there, but it was clouded by a fog of fear and confusion.

The mother, oblivious to his inner turmoil, pulled back with a grateful smile. "Thank you so much, Chancellor Kagayaki. This will mean the world to my son. You've made his birthday so special."

Matsu managed a smile, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm glad I could help. I hope he has a wonderful birthday."

Noticing his hesitation, she offered, "Would you like to take some snacks with you? I made extra, and I'd be happy to share."

Matsu, still feeling off-kilter, nodded. "Sure, thank you."

She handed him a small bag of homemade treats, her kindness evident in every gesture. Matsu accepted them, thanked her again, and made his way back to his car. As he drove off, he glanced at the bag of snacks beside him, his mind still reeling from the unexpected emotions the hug had triggered.

Why did that feel so...wrong? he wondered. Is this what I'm missing? Is this why I feel so...incomplete?

The rest of the drive was quiet, the usual noise of the world around him fading into the background as he became lost in thought. Matsu had always prided himself on his strength, his ability to handle whatever came his way. But today had shown him that there were still cracks in his armor, places where the past still had the power to wound him.

When he arrived back at the Chancellery, he took a deep breath, trying to shake off the lingering unease. There was still work to be done, and he couldn't afford to dwell on his emotions now. But as he walked into his office, he couldn't help but wonder how much longer he could keep those feelings buried before they came back to the surface.