The Religious & The Damaged (UNDER EDITING)

16

Joseph

  "You what?!" Kelsey shouts out of sheer excitement, and I can't help but laugh.

  "I hugged Elias." I repeat. "And it was embarrassing, but.. nice, nonetheless."

  She scoffs, a grin on her face.

  But guilt settles in my heart and I look down, a heavy inhale through my nose.

  "And terrible at the same time." I sigh. "It still feels so.. dirty." I say, trying to depict how I feel; searching for just the right word.

  "Joseph," She steps forward and tugs me down into an embrace. "Things won't change overnight." She speaks softly, seemingly to make sure she doesn't sound like she's trying to be brutally honest. "The best thing you can do is keep trying to get past it and talk to him." She leans back and brushes the hair out of my face. "Yeah?" I nod. She nods and smiles. "Good."

  The bell rings, and the halls immediately fill up. My gaze settles back on Kelsey as she perks up and smiles up at me.

  "Walk me to class, boyfriend?" She teases, and she wraps a hand around my arm.

  I huff out a light laugh. "Sure."

  She tugs at my arm in an effort to get my hand out of my pocket, and she interlocks her fingers with mine.

  I'm caught by surprise, but return the gesture as we walk down the hall, passing by crowds upon crowds of students—and evidently, all eyes are on us.

  I try hard not to react; to not let my anxiety show. I try to look natural because that's how I need to look.

  My gaze reverts back down to Kelsey, and she looks unbothered; happy.

  This looks so easy for her, and I hope that everyone just looks at her because I probably look like an anxious idiot next to her.

  I look forward as she stops, and it brings me to a stop. I turn as her hand slips from mine.

  "I'll wait for you after school." She says, and I nod.

  She looks back, and I follow her gaze to the approaching groups of other students.

  I look back down at her as she leans up and places a kiss on my cheek, then she swipes her thumb over my cheek to get rid of the lipgloss she leaves behind.

  "Bye." She says, a smile still clear on her face as she walks into the classroom.

  I head down the hall to my class.

  She's right. I can't expect overnight results when I'm still processing it all and the fear of it still lingers.

  And I'm still hoping that this will just disappear.

  It's hard to just ignore that hopeful feeling.

  After school, I head out of the school building and stop and look around for Kelsey.

  I notice her, but she's with her friends—so, I lean back against the cold metal gate and wait as I try hard to not stare at Elias, who looks so-