The Religious & The Damaged (UNDER EDITING)

22

Joseph

I walk into detention and take a seat in the back of the room. I sit back and look to my right when Nick and Elias walk in.
"Take your seats, boys."
I make eye contact with them, and Nick looks unsure of what to do with himself—while Elias invites himself in the seat across from me. Nick sits next to him with a huff, his eyes meeting mine again briefly and he looks threatening.
I know it's because he's protective of Elias, and I can't help but respect that, so I don't react.
I look in front of me, at my desk.
He seemed okay with me at lunch, other than the occasional glares, like now. Elias must've talked to him or something because before he would voice just how he felt about me, especially after the fight with Spencer.
I tense when a paper is placed in front of me. I glance up at Elias, and he smiles back at me. I look down and pick it up, and as I hide it under the desk, I'm suddenly aware of how hard my heart races at this new found friendship I find myself in. And I'm happy about it.
I open the note, and it reads: Do you want to hang out at your place tomorrow? I'm flustered, but I remember what my father said, and I frown.
I can't hang out with him with my father around. He told me at lunch that he's not at home at the moment, but maybe I can sneak him in. I really want to hang out with him.
I take a pencil from inside the desk and write back.
Okay but I have to sneak you in. My father doesn't really want me talking to you anymore.
I look up and tap his arm gently, and he looks over his shoulder at me. I discreetly pass the note back to him, and he turns. I watch the back of his head, my cheeks burn hot as I think about me and Elias in my room once again.
Forgive me-
I shut my eyes in frustration.
No. I can't worry about that anymore—if I do, I won't ever be able to accept what I am and move forward.
I flinch when I feel a tap on my hand, and I look up. He passes the note back. I open it just how I did before.
I don't want to get you in trouble...
I stare at it, not knowing how to respond.
Obviously, I want to hang out with him—more than anything—but would saying it seem clingy? Do I reassure him?
I hesitate, but write back: It'll be nice doing something wrong for once with you.
I shake my head a single time and scribble out "with you" before handing it back to him. I lean to the side to watch his reaction, and he smiles down at the note. Then, he smiles back at me—that breathtaking smile. I gulp hard, and I feel myself growing more and more nervous at his presence by the second, as if he hasn't been sitting here for the last 10 minutes.
I force a smile onto my face, and I just know I look ridiculous.
"Face the front, Mr. Greene."
Elias turns in his seat, and a shaky breath slips from my lips as relief creeps through my chest. The butterflies in my stomach fade over time, and I feel like I can breathe again.
The power he has over me is overwhelming—I never knew how much until now. He's going to be the death of me, I swear.

I walk out of the gas station with Kelsey, and I hold the bag as she lights a cigarette.
"So," She looks at me. "I'm sorta hanging out with Elias."
She gasps and takes the cigarette from her lips. "Seriously?!" She responds, excitement clear in her voice.
I laugh lightly. "Yeah. Tomorrow." She grins widely and reaches out to hit my arm, but she stops herself—probably remembering that I'm still recovering. I look forward. "And I'm going to have to sneak him in." I add.
She gasps again. "Scandalous." She teases.
I roll my eyes in response, but say, "My father doesn't really want me hanging out with him anymore. He said he's corrupting me."
"But you know that's not true, right?"
"Yes, Kel." I drag out, and she laughs.
"Just making sure." She defends as she tosses her hands up.
I roll my eyes, and she offers me the cigarette with raised brows. I give her a serious look, and her lips curl downward as amusement spreads across her face and she turns away.
"See? You have a mind of your own. Clearly, your dad doesn't have one at all."
My eyes follow her as my mind wanders.
"What's the deal with your father anyway?" I ask without the slightest consideration of it being wrong to ask, but even then, she doesn't seem to react to it—though she's still facing away from me, so who knows.
"What'd you mean?"
I hesitate this time because I don't want to make her uncomfortable with the subject, but she looks back at me with curiosity in her expression and I spit it out.
"I've never asked before, but I thought he left up to my father mentioning him when you came over for the first time." I say.
Her gaze falls, then she turns her back to me again. "It's complicated."
I furrow my brows. "How so?"
"Him and my mom are still married, but he doesn't live with us." There's a long pause. "He dumped us in that apartment and bought a house in the rich neighborhood, just down the street from yours. He only really comes around every now and then, it's not that big of a deal."
My furrowed brows turn into a state of worry, and I say, "I'm sorry."
She huffs out a breath of amusement and turns to me, a smile plastered across her lips, but I see a hint of sadness in her eyes.
"Seriously, it's no biggie."
I know she doesn't actually believe that—I can see it in her face, but I don't bring it up because I'm trying this thing called: Thinking before I speak.
We walk into the house, and my father is in front of us. I tense as I meet his gaze.
"I-I thought you had work at the church." I say, and my voice is wobbly.
His gaze falls from me to the bag in my hand, and my grasp tightens on it. He looks at Kelsey.
"I'm glad my unacceptable behavior from the other night didn't scare you away from my son." He says. "He needs you more than ever now."
"Of course, Mr. Olsson." Kelsey replies, gentleness in her voice.
"I wasn't myself." He adds.
I gulp hard as my gaze shifts between the two and my heart pounds against my chest.
"I know, sir." I look down when Kelsey turns to me, and she grins. "I'll wait for you upstairs."
I feel her hand brush against mine as she takes the bag from me, and then she kisses me. I'm caught off guard, but I quickly realize she wouldn't kiss me without reason, so I kiss her back. She leans back and smiles before she turns and walks past my father. I look up and he looks baffled, happy even. I stare with wide eyes as he moves to walk past me, and he takes my shoulder into my hand.
"Good. I'm glad you're coming to your senses." He says before he leaves.
I take a breath of relief as Kelsey appears from behind the doorframe of the kitchen.
"Shit. I didn't expect that to actually work."
I tilt my head as I stare back at her with a slight grin. "You're a lifesaver, seriously." I praise.
She huffs out a laugh and shoves me lightly. "Just helping out my boyfriend." I smile more, and she smiles back as she takes my arm. "Come on."
She tugs me toward the stairs and we ascend them and walk to my bedroom.
What would I do without her? Seriously? I know my father won't let me off the hook completely, but just a little is enough for me.