The Religious & The Damaged (UNDER EDITING)

33

Elias

Joseph and I walk downstairs and into the kitchen.
"Can we make breakfast?" I ask, and I turn to face him as he looks over at me from the sink—a cup in his hand.
"Oh, uhm, sure." He sets down the cup and reaches up to the cabinet directly above the sink. "What do you want to make?" He asks.
I think for a moment before answering. "Eggs and toast."
He pulls out a frying pan and hands it to me. I take it and place it on the stove as he walks past me to the fridge, and he hands me a carton of eggs and butter.
"Thank you." I say, softly.
And I take it. He steps next to me to switch on the stove and take a spatula from the drawer next to him.
"Scrambled or sunny side up?" He asks me, his gaze meeting mine.
And I say, "Scrambled, please."
He reverts his gaze and watches as the butter melts in the pan before cracking an egg, and I step behind him and snake my arms around his torso. He tenses under my touch. I step up onto my tippy toes, but I'm still not tall enough to see past his shoulder. He turns his head to me, and I look up to meet his gaze and I smile.
"Is this okay?" I ask.
He looks down at the pan, and he nods; a nervous smile on his face. I smile more. My heart pounds so hard—I wonder if he can feel it against his back.
My stomach is all fluttery, but it seems like it always is when I'm with him.
I watch his face, and he looks concentrated and flustered. It makes me want to laugh, but I don't. Instead I say, "You're really cute."
He practically drops the spatula, and his face grows more red as he meets my gaze. My smile turns into a slight grin because I'm finding it way too easy to get him flustered, and it's very enjoyable.
I'm coming to find out how much of a tease I actually am; I've never been in a relationship with anyone before Joseph, so I'm learning new things about myself that I never knew.
"I.."
My attention shifts over to the pan, and I say, "The eggs are gonna burn."
He quickly shifts his attention back to the pan and turns off the heat, and I let out a light laugh that time.
He huffs. "You get a kick out of doing that, don't you?"
My grin grows, showing how proud I am of myself. "Maybe." I reply, and he glares over at me, but I know it's a playful stare. I step up onto my tippy toes again and I kiss him. "But it's true." I add.
He stares into my eyes, a hint of panic still lingers in his expression, but he turns and takes my waist into his hand and pulls me into another kiss, in which I obviously return.
And just like that the butterflies in my stomach grow stronger, and I can't help but think how amazing it feels to be alive.
He leans back. "I really like you." He says.
"I know. I really like you too."
He makes me want to live, and that means a whole lot to me than I thought it would.
And as we sit down to eat, I realize now that he didn't make eggs for himself and it makes me worry. I know I shouldn't bring attention to it, but I do anyway.
"You're not eating?" I ask.
He looks at me from his crossed arms on the table, and he smiles reassuringly—but he still fails to conceal his panic.
"I'm not that hungry." He says, and he breaks eye contact.
My gaze shifts between my plate and him, and I move to sit next to him. He looks at me.
"What's up?" He furrows his brows. "You can tell me things. If something's bothering you that you feel.. out of control of, I want to help." I say.
He looks down—his expression unreadable, but the air has grown intense. "It's not anything in particular, I guess, I don't realize when I do these things anymore."
"Is there anything I could do to make you feel better?"
He smiles softly at me. "You being here makes me feel better." He speaks softly.
I smile; relief washes over me as a sense of warmth runs through my heart at his words.
I look down at the plate and pick up a slice of toast. An idea pops into my head, and I turn towards Joseph and hold out the toast to his mouth. He jerks back at the sudden movement.
"Here. Have some." I say, and he huffs out a light laugh.
"Lias, I'm okay."
"Would it be better if I do an airplane?"
"Okay, if I eat it, will you stop?"
I nod, and he stares at me for a brief moment before taking the toast, and he takes a bite. I smile and turn my attention back to the plate.
I'm glad I got him to eat something—even if it's as small as some toast.

Some time later, Joseph and I are lying in his bed, listening to music—my arms crossed over his chest as I stare up at him. His fingers brush up and down my back as he stares up at the ceiling, seemingly engrossed in the music. I smile and lean up and place a kiss on his chin. His head drops, and my smile grows as I lean further and kiss him. He grasps my sweater as he leans closer, and I kiss him again.
"What was that for?" He asks once we break away.
I smile. "I just wanted to kiss you." His cheeks turn red, and my smile grows. "Do you like kissing me?" I tease, and I lean closer.
His eyes don't leave mine as he seemingly blushes more, and he stammers. "I-"
We look over in sync as the bedroom door opens, and Joseph's dad stands in the doorway—his expression dark with anger.