The Religious & The Damaged (UNDER EDITING)

45

Elias

I walk into school and go to the stairwell, and my friends look over at the echo of the door shutting behind me. I walk down the steps, and Nick gestures the cigarette he holds to me. I take it.
"You missed a fun time last night." He says.
"I was with Jillian."
Suddenly, a grin tugs at his lips, and I roll my eyes as I huff out a light laugh.
"Oh and how are things with Jillian?"
"Normal. Fine, I mean.."
"And here it comes." Spencer chimes in.
"It's just fine. She's a nice girl."
Joey snorts out a laugh and says, "Talk about friend zone."
I sigh. "I'm just gonna give it another shot. Maybe, I'm still hung over Joseph."
"And there it is." Spencer says, and I glare playfully at him.
Nick looks at me from him. "Don't force it, man. If you go into it expecting to feel one way, you'll come out feeling another way."
I nod and bring the cigarette to my lips. "Yeah..."
I take a drag. Nick pats me on the shoulder before turning his attention back to the others. They praise him for his advice.
"Spoke like a true god." Spencer says.
"Who knew you were so wise, Nick." Joey adds, and Nick grins—his head tilting to the side.
"Fuck off."
I laugh with the two, and the bell rings. I take another drag of the cigarette before handing it over to Nick. I walk ahead, up the stairs and out the door. I head down the hall, but I'm pulled to a halt when I see Joseph in the doorway of our class and he's hugging Kelsey as she speaks to him, but I'm too far to hear. I stand there because I feel awkward. I don't want to interrupt, so I wait until they stop and Joseph walks into the room, then I do. I glance over as he takes his seat and my eyes widen at the condition of his face—he's barely recognizable.
I never noticed how much he's changed; he's covered in bruises and swelling and he looks sick, like really sick. I wonder if he's been eating, but the dark purple under his eyes, pale skin, and sunken cheeks tell me enough to come to the conclusion that he hasn't been.
We make eye contact, and I quickly look away and take my seat. My heart is pounding as my eyes dart my desk, and the question of if he's okay overwhelms me.
"You okay?"
I look over at Jillian, and she holds a worried look on her face.
I clear my throat and nod. "Yeah." I shake my head a single time, shaking away the thought. "I'm fine." I say.
Her eyes examine my face, like she doesn't believe me, and I don't blame her. I know I probably look panicked, but how can I not be?
I'm only now seeing the toll on Joseph, and I feel like shit because I didn't see it sooner.

After class, I stand and follow Joseph out in the hall because I want to talk to him, but a hand takes mine and Jillian's voice follows.
"Come on." She only says.
I huff and follow her, my gaze trained on Joseph as I look over my shoulder. He stops by the cafeteria and glances inside, but turns around towards Kelsey and she smiles.
Good he's not alone.
I turn forward. "Where are we going?" I ask.
"Somewhere better to get food."
We walk past the school gate and turn the corner and across the street is a plaza that consists of fast food places, a laundromat, a ice cream shop, which is closed during this time of year, and a few shops—pawn shop, a run-down furniture store I wouldn't shop from, and some kind of office building. A gas station just down the street.
We slow down and I only realize now that she's still holding my hand.
"Ms. Smith is so annoying." She begins a conversation. "She hates me, I swear."
"I mean, you cheat off me a lot."
She grins over at me. "Hey, you're supposed to be on my side." She whines. "And if she didn't want me to cheat, maybe she should be a better teacher. She's gone like all the time."
I look in front of me as we stop at a pizza shop, and I hold the door open for her. "I heard her son has cancer." I say, and she turns towards me as she walks backwards.
"Well shit, make me feel guilty about calling her a bad teacher why don't you?"
I huff out a light laugh. We sit at a random booth as I say, "Sorry. I guess, I just understand that."
She looks up at me from her hands. "Cancer?"
"No. I mean, yes. My, uhh, my mom died of cancer about a year ago."
Her eyes widen, and the air grows intense. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry."
"No, it's cool. I'm still learning to be okay with it, and, yeah, I am. I'm okay." I offer a reassuring smile, and she returns it.
"Good." She says.