Summer and May

Chapter Sixty-Three: Jeremy

All this waiting; all the hours I'd spent wanting her, being pissed at her, wishing I had answers. It's finally here. She's here in front of me, running through my house, clearly upset by something she saw. I didn't expect to see her, certainly not like this. I never locked my doors at Sully's house, so she would always waltz in like it was her home, too. I used to pretend that it was ours. I held onto that dream as I tried reaching for her, desperate for an explanation, or simply just a minute of her time.

I let her leave me once, and I walked away at her wishes. I couldn't let that happen again, even if I was terrified that I'd lose her once more. When she marched to her car, in an angry huff, I did everything I could to keep her from driving away. I even acted like a child; stealing her keys, even shutting her car door to get her attention.

But then I kissed her. It was stupid, impulsive. I wanted to keep my resolve strong, but I wanted her more. I didn't have the best of luck in relationships before, but this one was different. This was the one, or it was nothing. I was done for. I needed this to work. But I could only let myself fall again if I knew she wasn't going anywhere.

For the end of August, it was, of course, hot. Unseasonably so. My brother-in-law Mitchell had helped me paint the shed in Sully's backyard, and tweaked a few things with a leaking window. Ari was good with advice; knowing when I needed someone to listen, but that wasn't what I wanted right now. I just needed to keep busy. Mitchell was good at that.

I was coming in for water and a turkey sandwich when I saw May in tears, and I thought it was a mirage. Now that I had her, I wasn't letting her leave without an explanation. I needed it now, in fear that she may leave again, and I may never get another chance.

"Why now?" I shake my head. "Why didn't you come to me before you got tested? I would have went with you. Why didn't you tell me afterwards? I would have held you. Why didn't you tell me at all?"

Her hair falls down her shoulders as her neck sags. Her palms must be raw from how she's digging her nails into them. "None of my reasons seem good enough, now. I thought I was protecting you, but I see now how it's changed everything." She motions towards the house.

I know that May is desperate for answers, as her eyes dart to my bedroom window over and over again. When she motions to the house, I'm at the end of my rope. I want so badly to tell her the truth, that it's not at all what she thinks, but the part of me that she's crushed is selfish. That part of me wants to make her wait for it just a little longer, before I give into her as I knew I eventually would.

But that was a part of me that I left in high school. A piece of my past that I wasn't proud of, and never would return to again. May was a lifetime kind of girl; you couldn't just get one taste of her and not want everything. I felt it the first time I met her, and I'd seen this exact feeling play out with Brooks, and tons of other guys from her school. I couldn't take the look in her eyes, the sad look on her face, for a second longer. No matter how insane she'd made me these past two weeks.

"What you saw inside... it isn't what you think." I finally say, and I can audibly hear the breath leave her lungs. She says nothing, only waiting for my answer, just as I've been waiting on her. "That car belongs to my brother-in-law."

"What?"

I huff, wishing I could just explain everything quickly, and we could go back to the way we were. I needed her near equally as much as I needed her to earn my trust back. 

"My sister and her husband are traveling north for one of his business trips. They stopped by for the night. That was--"

"Your sister's bra..."