Summer and May

Chapter Fourteen: May

The fire roared when Alec sprayed the tiniest bit of lighter fluid into it. It was built almost as tall as me, and yet just a drop caused it to nearly explode. I questioned if this would be one of the last times I sat on this small stretch of beach, on Alec's property, enjoying a beer with good friends. I was more than prepared for high school to end. I didn't love it or hate it. I'm excited to start my life, but I'm sitting here, watching this fire burn, and thinking about all the times I'm going to miss.

As if Summer could read my mind, she stretched a manicured hand around me. "You know..." she began, optimistic. "At Brown, there will be bonfires even better than this one."

I stared at the flashes or hot orange. "I like this one just the way it is." I whispered.

"What?" Summer asked. I had barely let out my sentence above a hush.

"Nothing. When's Jeremy coming?"

Her eyes did a little dance. "I'm not sure. He didn't say. Elusive, that one."

I gulped, staring down at the sand between my toes. Jeremy had texted me an hour ago, asking if I'd be there tonight. I responded with yes, and he said he'd be there by 8. It was 7:52 at the moment. I suddenly felt guilty for knowing something about Jeremy that Summer didn't. I could assume they'd already traded numbers, but why would he let me know his whereabouts instead of her?

My decision was to say nothing. Jeremy and I were friends. Just friends.

But when he finally showed up exactly ten minutes later, the way he looked at me, looking past Summer... the aching in my gut told me it wasn't a way friends look at each other. Summer had practically disappeared when he arrived, showing him off to her friends, and most likely eager to get him alone. I found myself desperately wondering what they were doing, what they were talking about, where they were. It was becoming almost obsessive until Alec plopped down on the sand next to me.

"Everett, what are you doing on your ass?" He turned his ball cap backwards, handing me a beer.

I opened it immediately. "Just thinking. I'm going to miss these." I admitted, smiling sheepishly. He wrapped his burly arm around my small frame, and gave me a noogie. I squealed. 

"You cheeseball." he laughed. His hands folded together around his knees, his toes digging in the sand just as mine were. "Truthfully? So will I. I don't know what college will be like, but I don't see it getting any better than this."

I nodded, not because I related to him, but rather in support of him. College had always felt like a far-away dream, and the closer it approached, the more unreal it felt.

"You'll be happy there, Alec. You're nice, good looking, smart." I took a long sip of my beer. "You and Brooks will be just fine."

The next hour was spent chugging beer and spilling little truths. When Brooks showed up, my comfort level skyrocketed, and we were playing two-hand-touch football on the beach, half-drunk. Brooks would push anyone out of my way when I had the ball, and when I scored, he threw me up on his shoulder and had everyone chanting my name. As silly as I felt, I didn't mind being in the spotlight for once.

I watched Summer and Jeremy flirting by a picnic table, their knees touching. They were really starting to like each other, and it made my heart do a weird flutter that it didn't recognize. Summer had a smile, a genuine smile, that I hadn't seen in a long time. Brooks called my name, apparently more than once. When I didn't answer, he stood in front of me.

"What's going on with you?" I crossed my arms and shrugged. "Give it up, May. That little thing you did right there," he copied me crossing my arms in a dramatic fashion. "that's your tell."

I groaned, and barely glanced past him at my best friend. Brooks tracked it, a knowing look on his face. "Walk with me. I know where Alec keeps his candy stash."

Obediently, feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, I followed Brooks into the garage. He grabbed a pack of gummy worms and opened the passenger door to Alec's father's convertible. He held his finger up to his mouth, closing the door softly. When he slipped into the driver's seat, he said nothing, waiting for me to take a gummy worm and begin spilling my thoughts.

I told him in detail, from start to finish, what Summer and I had been up to since school got out over a week ago. How she dared me to lose my virginity, how she flipped her kayak, how she picked Jeremy for me but I felt afraid...

"And since you refused, she's got him now, and you're...?" Brooks added all the pieces up together, but this last question, I didn't have an answer for.

"I... I don't know. Jealous isn't the right word. Maybe..."

"Regretful?"

I sighed, staring at the creamy leather interior, fantasizing about the V6 engine. "I can't say that. It's just one summer, he's just one guy. I was too scared to go for it, like I always am."

Brooks chose his next words very carefully. I watched him calculate his thoughts and compute them perfectly into words, and yet, it was maybe the first time that I couldn't predict what was going to come out of his mouth.

"Listen, the thing about Summer is... she can get any guy she wants. Not because of who she is, but because of how she plays it."

"Hey--" I interjected. He had a point to what he was saying, but any guy would be lucky to have Summer. She's my best friend.

"I'm not saying anything bad, I'm simply saying that Summer is a pro at men. You aren't."

I narrowed my eyes. "I'm failing to see how this is going to help me."

He leaned in, so close I could smell his cologne. It smelled exactly like his bedroom. "May, I'm saying that you're rare. You don't find a girl like you often. You have no hidden agenda, no motives. You're just you. And you're..." I rubbed my lips together, desperate to hear his next words, and fearing them at the same time. "You're beautiful. Genuine. Jeremy is crazy for not going for that."

I blinked, my lashes slow to respond. Everything felt still for a moment. I'd been called beautiful three times in my life. My dad had said it several times before; before my homecoming dance, when I got my license... but, he's my dad. He sees something no one else does. Summer had called me beautiful before, too. She did it a lot, actually. But... a man, besides my father? This was a first.

I looked down at my shoes. I didn't know how to respond to such flattery. My heart was beating through my chest, and when I gazed over at Brooks, I could sense that his was doing the same. We stared at one another for what felt like ages.