Summer and May

Chapter Thirty-Nine: May

I didn't want to see anybody. I certainly didn't want anybody to see me. I hadn't showered, eaten, or spoken to anyone but my dad in three days. That changed when Brooks knocked on my door, sporting a bag of Wiseman's takeout. That greasy, delicious smell I normally adored turned acidic in my mouth. I threw a blanket over my head while Brooks fumbled with the house key, creeping through my door.

"Your dad told me what happened. He's worried about you."

The bed shifted when he sat at the edge, waiting patiently for me to come out of hiding.

"And so am I. Can you come out?"

He doesn't give me much of a choice when he reaches for my fuzzy purple blanket, slowly peeling it back to reveal more of my shriveled face.

"There she is." he held up the bag, sporting a smile. When he realized he wasn't getting a response, he set the bag on my desk. "Talk to me."

Finally, I sit up, seeing there was no point in fighting it. Brooks always got information from me... just like Summer always would. My heart broke again. I crumple before I can speak.

"What's there to say?" I whispered. "I've ruined everything. Summer will never speak to me again. The Brown thing I understand, but this is all over a boy."

His brow rose just slightly. "Jeremy?" I nodded. "Well, why didn't you tell her how you felt?"

I eyed him. "You know how it is, telling Summer what she doesn't want to hear. It's like talking to a brick wall. It's the same thing as Brown. I tried telling her, and she wasn't ready to hear it." I stopped myself, realizing that wasn't true. My feelings for Jeremy were left at the bottom of the barrel all summer long. 

"Well, at least with Jeremy, I tried to talk myself out of it. I thought my feelings for him meant nothing... but they just kept growing. And then he came to see me on my birthday, and I realized that he felt the same way all along. We were both suppressing how we felt."

Brooks made a face. "Yikes. That's messy."

"I never wanted to hurt Summer. I never told her how I felt because she was crazy about him, and I really wanted her to be happy. She deserved someone good, you know? Even if that guy was Jeremy. I never expected to feel this way."

"But you do."

"But I do." I repeated, my voice small. 

He turned towards me, crossing his legs on the bed. "Here's the deal; you should have told her. You should have told her about Brown, and you should have told her about this. But... this is Summer we're talking about. I get why you didn't. If I were you, I don't think I would have acted much different." I nod, knowing he's right. Regardless of the situation, I should have told her everything. 

"But also..." he continued, reaching for the Wiseman's bag and pulling out waffle fries, "you did what you thought was right. You've been trained to put yourself second to her, May. She steals the spotlight, but she loves you more than anything. That's why she's so hurt. I can't say that everything you've done is right... but you need to do what I've been telling you. You need to start putting yourself first."

My lip quivered. "But how?"

He ushered the food towards me again, an inescapable look in his eye. "Start by admitting to yourself how you feel. You like Jeremy, don't you?" I was unsure how comfortable he was with this topic, considering we were on a date less than two weeks ago. I slowly nodded, worried I was hurting his feelings. Damn, I worry too much. "Summer had a point. I've seen how you look at Jeremy, too. Something's there between you two."

I cock my head, slowly reaching for a waffle fry. "What do you mean about Summer having a point? Did you hear about our fight?"

He made a face, trying not to smile. "May... everyone within a two mile radius heard you both. I was getting back to my car with my family when you two got into it." I sighed, covering my face with my hands. "I mean it. What if everything with Jeremy happened for a reason? Maybe this is your chance to finally put yourself first, and go after what you want. Stop thinking about what everyone else wants."