Ruthless ; B•E

Twenty five

"I'm not leaving. I'll sit my ass right here until you tell me you're sorry." Billie said and Aliza laughed.
   "Me? Say sorry to you? I walked in on you fucking another bitch and you want me to say sorry to you? Okay. I'm sorry I stabbed the bitch. There. You like that apology Billie? Hm? I hope you're satisfied. Get out of my house." Aliza walked away and Billie ran up to her, pulling her by her arm causing Aliza to turn.
   Instead of speaking Billie crashed her lips onto Aliza's.
     Billie lifted Aliza, allowing her legs to wrap around her waist.
    "I'm sorry Aliza. I'm so fucking sorry." Billie said while looking into the girls eyes.
"Kiss me again Billie." Aliza whispered.
After a few moments of contemplation, Billie then pressed her lips against Aliza's once again, missing the way their lips glided together.
"I forgive you." Aliza whispered, her eyes filling up with tears.
"Please come home Minnie. I've been so lost without you. I promise I'll do better. I would have never thought that losing you would hurt as much as a heart attack." Billie's voice was raw and filled with so many emotions.
Billie let Aliza down, but she was still holding her hands tightly as she waited for a response.
"Billie I-I'm not the same person you fell in love with." Aliza spoke softly with her voice breaking.
"And I'll still learn to love you Aliza. I promise I will, I can't stand to see you and not be able to kiss you or hold you. You drive me insane."
    Aliza placed her hand on Billie's cheek and kissed her lips.
    "I'll be right down." Aliza whispered just before walking away.
    Flash forward a few hours and Aliza is lying naked in Billie's bed.
    "Hey baby I brought you some clean clothes fresh out the dryer." Billie said calmly while walking in and turning the light on.
     After Aliza got dressed she sat on the patio, rolling up a blunt while Billie was working.
    But Billie decided to take a break and pop in on Aliza.
    "What are you doing?" Billie asked while coming out and leaving on the railing.
    "Rolling up. My anxiety is high." Aliza responded while licking the shell and twisting it closed.
    "What about your pills?"
"I don't want to rely on a pill that just makes me feel even shittier. I want to feel alive. Not like a robot." Aliza said, bringing the blunt up to her lips and lighting it.
   "It's okay. I get it." Billie sat down beside Aliza, taking the blunt from her and holding it between her own fingers.
    "Though this isn't healthy Aliza, it's fine for now. If it is helping I can't to anything to make you stop. Are you hungry?"
     Aliza shrugged, inhaling the smoke.
"I'll go order Chinese." Billie kissed Aliza's cheek and walked inside.
     Soon enough they were inside, finishing up their food and Aliza started to get tired so she went upstairs and laid down.
    Billie felt like something was off.
She felt it deep in her bones.
    "Hey is everything okay?" Billie asked while sitting on the edge of the bed and running her hand up Aliza's arm.
    "I'm just tired. I'm fine though Bil."  Aliza closed her eyes, inhaling deeply.
    And then she sat up.
The look in her face was enough for Billie to know that it wasn't just something small.
    "After I left your house and I um. Stabbed her. I fucked someone. And I'm not sure if I'm pregnant or not. I'm hoping if I am, all the drinking and smoking will kill it. I can't imagine myself with a kid."
    Billie paused and turned around to Aliza with glossy eyes.
     "I'll go get you a pregnancy test. I'm not mad at you so don't leave okay? It's all gonna work out in the end." Billie's voice was filled with emotion.
    She wasn't sure what kind of emotions she was feeling.
    All she knows is she can't let Aliza slip away again.
Once Billie returned home she rushed up to the bedroom and handed Aliza the test, but before she let Aliza walk into the bathroom she hugged her.
"No matter what the results are, I'll still love you Aliza. I promise I will." Billie placed a reassuring kiss on Aliza's head and gave her a gentle nod.
"Go on."

...

"It's negative." Aliza said while walking out of the bathroom.
"See, nothing to worry about. Come here." Billie patted her lap and held eye contact with Aliza.
"I'm so sorry Billie." Aliza sniffled, her eyes filling with tears very quickly.
"No no, don't apologize. Please."