TW: Panic attacks
"So...uh, I just, like, focus a little and then I can lift a car or move a pencil with my mind or something?" I ask.
"If only it were that easy" chuckled Wanda. "Even I have trouble controlling my powers sometimes".
"So how does it work?" I question.
"I'll show you".
We were sitting in the training room and Wanda was trying to teach me how to use my powers. I'd put off the training with Nat, since I wasn't fully recovered, physically.
And mentally? I felt like I was 60 feet under rock bottom. But at least I started to feel just a little better around the Avengers. And as long as I didn't think about HYDRA, I felt just good enough to survive. If I allowed myself to think about the events, or my mind just wondered off at night, I felt like I was gonna die from the pain. But how could I show it? No, if I didn't focus on my weakness, it didn't exist.
Wanda took a deep breath.
"I try to be relaxed and mindful. If I get overwhelmed, it reflects in my magic, and it's dangerous. Try to breath deeply and focus on your head, hands and legs. Wherever you feel the power is the strongest."
I tried, but failed heavily.
"I don't feel anything' I said, frustration echoing in my voice.
"Don't get angry".
"I don't know, this is too hard." I shrugged and dropped to the floor.
"You have to try harder" she said, pulling me up with her magic.
I sighed.
****
I stood in the mirror and lifted my shirt. I saw a few deep, white scars running over my abdomen and my stomach twisted in disgust. I didn't even remembered getting them.
My knees got weak and I grabbed the cold edge of the sink. No, I couldn't do this again. I couldn't allow myself to think. It was a trap, always a trap. It was a deadly sea current, spinning me around in the bathroom and pushing me underwater, like weights attached to my legs. I gasped for air, the water burning my lungs. My head was spinning, and I knew I was dying. The water kept rising, it was now way over my head. And, oh my god, the door was locked and I couldn't get out. My body felt numb and cold, my eyes were almost fully closed. And I was falling, falling, f a l l i n g
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Power
Fanfiction"𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓷 𝓱𝓸𝔀 𝓽𝓸 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓲𝓽 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾. 𝓕𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓻 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾" Hannah William's nightmare is the boarding school she was sent to. Although she doesn't like to talk about her past, her...
