Power

Hanging in mid-air

The school nurse pressed her cold stethoscope against my back and I struggled not to jump up and hit her.

"You're tachycardic" she said. "Your heart is beating too fast. If you are nauseous, it might be a sign of food poisoning. I'll call your uncle to come pick you up. Go to the doctor if you don't feel better in a few days" she added, writing something on a piece of paper.

"Mmm" I mumbled, my head spinning. I wanted to throw up again, my heart was so far up my throat, I heard it pound inside my ears.

 ****

The wind blew my hair in my face. I sat on the curb in front of the school, waiting for Tony. When I saw his car appear from behind the corner, the knot in my chest loosened a little.

I got up and wobbled towards the car. I opened the door and dropped in the leather seat.

"Hey, kid" he said softly.

"...Hi" I said, closing my eyes and trying not to throw up again.

"The nurse said you threw up. What happened, are you sick?" he asked, driving.

"I don't know" I mumbled. I wanted to cry and scream and let out that bird whose wings were beating in my throat, let it fly away and be free.

"You didn't skip on purpose, did you?" he asked.

I felt the anger rising in my chest.

"NO!!! Oh my God, how dare you?? Do you really think that-" I yelled.

"Okay, I'm sorry! Take it easy" he lifted a hand.

"Don't tell me what to do! You don't understand!"

"Understand what?" 

I sighed and bit my lip.

"Nevermind...just...leave me alone" I replied, staring blankly out the window. 

                                                                                ****

Steve lifted his gaze up from the papers he was working on.

"Hi, how you feeling?" he questioned, lifting an eyebrow.

"Awful" I said, feeling the sickness rushing back, like a wave that knocked me off my feet. I instantly regretted telling him. He didn't have to know.

"I just need some rest" I hurried to add.

"You do look tired" commented Nat. "Did you sleep last night?"

"Yeah..." I mumbled, feeling Clint's eyes on me.

"I'll make you some tea" said Wanda. "Sit down".

I dropped onto the couch and curled up in a ball. I wrapped the blanket tightly around me, shivering.

"You should go to the medical bay" said Steve. He got up, trying to help me.

I tilted back defensively.

'No...it's ok. I'll just, uh...go to my room and sleep".

I felt like the doctors couldn't help me. Something was wrong with me, but not my body. I was afraid. I was panicked for no reason and it made me sick. 

"Hannah" he crossed his arms.

I felt angry again.

"I'm fine, really! I'll go and rest, alright?"

He sighed and looked at Tony, who was drinking coffee. He shrugged, taking a sip.

"Yeah, ok" he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Wait for the tea" smiled Wanda, trying to hide her concern.

I closed my eyes, pretending to not feel the looks they gave each other behind my back.

****

When I laid in bed, the sickness got away. If I scrolled on my phone, watched a movie or listened the music, I felt good. But the minute my bubble burst, the minute I was back to reality, I was on the verge of collapsing. It was a dangerous path, like I was falling off a cliff and the only thin string that was keeping me from hitting the ground was made from characters and people whom I didn't even know. That was me. Hanging in mid-air.