Power

Part 36

I opened my eyes the next morning. How did I even manage to sleep? I think it was something in the IV that was hanging from my arm. My entire body was sore, but I did feel a little better physically. Mentally? Absolutely not. It didn't seem real that I was rescued and I was still so unbelievably angry at the Avengers for leaving me there. I know they didn't have a choice, I know they didn't want HYDRA to kill me, but...it still hurt. And I felt like I would never be able to feel the same way about them. They felt like strangers to me. The thought made my heart burn. 

I suddenly heard the door open and a doctor came in. I didn't recognize her, but again, the IV made me feel dizzy.

"Hi, how are you feeling?" she smiled.

"Um...better, I guess".

"That's good. Can I check your heart?" she asked.

I nodded slightly.

When she touched me with the ice cold stethoscope, I almost jumped up. I hated her touch, it made my teeth grit and my throat dry in panic. She listened to my heart and said:

"Well, everything sounds ok, and we also gave you fluids to rehydrate you. If you want, you can go downstairs and see the others, but don't get too tired" she talked in a calm voice.

"Okay, thank you" I mumbled, trying to get out of bed. My head was spinning and I stopped to take a breath. My eyes felt sandy and dry. I took a step forward. My knees were weak and wobbly, but I could walk.

"Do you need help?" she asked.

I shook my head.

"Here. I'll come with you" she said, walking by my side, dragging the IV pole to the elevator.

When I entered the living room, everyone turned their heads towards me. Tony was in the kitchen talking to Steve. Bucky, Sam and Clint were sitting on the couch, Loki was sitting in his armchair, and the others were standing next to the window.

I felt really self-conscious under their looks. I knew it hurt them to see me so skinny and fragile. I couldn't stand to see the concern on their faces, so I stared at the floor.

"How are you feeling?" asked Steve.

"Uh...a little better" I replied.

"Here, sit down" said Clint, helping me towards the couch. I looked at Bucky, but he avoided my gaze.

"Do you need anything?" asked Wanda, gently.

"No, uh...I'm fine. Thanks."

What was wrong with me? God, I felt so angry just looking at their faces. I started biting my nails. My leg was shaking harder than ever.

Tony sighed and sat next to me, careful not to knock down the IV pole.

"Well, obviously you're not fine. And I just...I...I'm sorry."

I looked up at him. He was a mess.

"God, I'm sorry" he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You wouldn't believe how sorry I am".

"We all are" said Nat.

Now I was confused. They did save me. They didn't want me to die. Even I didn't understand why I was still angry at them, but their apologies made it sound like they actually did do something terrible, which made me even angrier.

"I- I don't..." I started, trying to control the boiling anger in my stomach.

"We tried to make all of this easier for us...I'm sorry we didn't look at you when we left. So you could see in our eyes that we would come back for you."