New Girl (Boys of tommen fanfic)

Thirteen

Masen

I can't get her smile out of my head. How her blue eyes sparkled when she understood one of the math problems.

Or how her nose wrinkles when she laughs. And how cute she was when we argued in the car. One second she was mad then the next she was grinning at me.

I can't get her out of my head. It's starting to drive me crazy.

Her sent lingers in my car. Vanilla and raspberries.

Before when she sat next to me I had the urge to grab her hand in mine. Holding it tight and never letting go.

I park my car outside my house. My body is already starting to tense. I shut the car door softly and lock it.

I climb the steps up to the door slowly. Dreading to go inside. Then I feel guilty for dreading it.

I'm disappointed in myself for thinking like that. But I can't change it.

I open the door, taking off my shoes and wet jacket, I start to the kitchen.

Dad is sitting in one of the chairs reading the newspaper.

"Hello" I greet him while taking an apple to eat. He looks up, his eye bags is darker then usual. "How was school" he gives me a weak smile.

I look away. "It was good" I shrug. I look down at my feet. I swallow nervously. "How's mom today" I glance at him.

"It's one of her good days" I hum. That's good, it means she isn't going to scream at me or throw things.

"You should go and give her a bottle of water. she would be glad to see you" a freezing cold settles in my stomach.

I nod. "Sure" I take out a water from the fridge and walk up the stairs. My movements are shaky at best.

I knock gently on the door. "Come in" her voice calls, soft and steady.

I take a breath, bracing myself for what awaits inside. But she was having one of her good days. Calm, quiet,  but there was always a chance it could flip.

"Hi Mom" I pushed the door open.

She sits in one of the chairs reading a book. Looking better then she has in days. Her hair is brushed, her eyes are clearer.

For a second I feel a wave of relief. Maybe today she would stay calm.

The window is open and fresh air blows in. I shudder. "I brought you some water"

"Thank you, love" she gave me a small smile. This was the version of her I wanted to hold on to..the soft,gentle one, the mom who loved me. Not the one from my childhood, the one who...

I place the bottle of water on the little side table beside her. I move to take a step back but her hand catches my arm.

"Stay, please" she asks, interrupting my thoughts. There was something fragile in her voice, something uncertain. She hadn't asked me to stay in while.

I hesitate then nod slightly. "I can stay for a bit" I say. Moving to sit in the chair across from her. I tried to relax but the memories from my childhood clawed in the back of my mind.

The shed, the darkness, the cold. I push it away, trying to focus on her now, In the present.

We sit in silence for a few moments. The calm hanging in the air like glass, ready to shatter.

"Tell me about your day" She looks out the window. A lost and broken look in her eyes.

I do my best to distract her from the prison of her mind. "I think our team is going to the finals this year" I pause.

She nods. "That's good. I always said that you are going a long way in rugby" I smile sadly at her. "Yeah, you did"

An arcing feeling fills my heart. I wish she had good days more often. Becuse she is great then and acts how a mother should.

She doesn't call me a monster or that i am a worthless child. No she acts like a loving doting mom.

"Have you taking your antidepressant today" I still. Not knowing if I should have asked that and maybe I ruined her good mood.

"Oh, yeah this morning" she brushes my comment off. I relax slightly.

We sit in a awkward silence. Just as I thought she was going to continue to read her book. She stills and stares straight at me.

The look in her eyes sends shivers down my spine. It's cold and dead. Like a corpse.

"You were such a difficult child, Masen" my mom says suddenly. Her voice losing her softness.

"Always running off, making me worry. You don't know what you put me through."

I stiffen. I know this tone. The good day was slipping away, and the shadows were starting to creep in.

"I was a kid" I say quietly, trying to keep my voice steady. " I didn't know any better"

"You never listened" she continues. Her grip tightening on the book. Her gaze grows darker, and that familiar edge of anger begins to rise in her tone.

"I had to lock you away to keep you safe, you know that."

I swallow, my heart pounding now. The walls of the room feels like they are closing in on me. The air is too thick.

I need to leave before things grows worse. Before the past drags me under again.

"I should go" I say quickly. Standing up. " I check on you later."

Her face twist, anger flares in her eyes. "
You're just like your father. Always running away when things get hard"

I don't answer. I can't. My pulse is roaring in my ears as I turn and hurry out of the room.

I close the door behind me with shaky hands. I lean against the wall outside her room. Breathing hard. Trying to calm the panic in my chest.

The good days never last long.

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Wow, this journey is wild.

I have grown more comfortable with my writing and learn new things all the time.

I'm really thankful for you as a reader and the support you show me. It's really helping me for motivation for writing this story.!!!

Thank you!!!<333