A Ray of Sunlight

Chapter 34 - Granted (Haruto's POV)

"I'm really sorry, Haruto, I really am. I understand if you're angry-"

"I'm not! I'm not! Just...just a bit...well...I don't know..." my words trailed off at the end and I wasn't sure how to start the conversation with father. I stared at the cake Miss Mindy gave me and then at the jar of cranes on the table. "Well...well...well tell me everything! Everything that happened!"

"Everything? Where should I begin?"

"I don't know, whatever you want. I just want to know something. Anything about you and Katsunori and you know what happened."

"Well...you probably know by now." I stared at father curiously. "Our relationship. Katsunori and mine. It's...it's complicated." He sighs. "Do you ever feel like you want to do something but you can't?"

"Yeah...that happens. I really wanted to save Yukio but he..."

"Me too. I...I just don't know what I'm doing sometimes and I really want to help someone but...but it doesn't work. Do you understand, Haruto? I got stuck, stuck in place, not knowing what my next step was or what to do."

"Is the person...Katsunori? Did you guys get into a big fight?"

"A fight about morals. He wanted to blow up Sora. Sora has no significance to him. It's a place where all was destroyed for him. The ring accident, his mother, the demons messing with his head, he couldn't see straight anymore." Father chuckled. "I guess that happened to me too."

"He just abandoned you after that?" What about the years of friendship and maybe something more between them?

"I think he stopped contacting me because of that fight and because he felt guilty." Father paused for a second. "Guilty because he broke my legs. Akio the demon made him go out of control and...and he broke my legs. I just wished I did more. Said more. Earlier too. I wished I could've done something to stop him before everything. Before he decided it's too late to go back."

"Father..." There was so much more to the story than I had imagined.

"I'm sorry, Haruto. I shouldn't have been so stupid. I can't believe I would let myself sink this low-"

"No." I suddenly said. "No, this is not your fault. There are things that you can't control. I guess...I guess that's just what fate has for you and me and Katsunori and everyone."

"Haruto,"

"A friend once told me that it's the unpredictable things that make life interesting. Of course fate isn't permanent. There are things you can change but there are some you can't, especially things that happened in the past." I smile. "And someone told me a ray of sunlight will shine through the darkness. To bring warmth and light. To bring hope. To never give up." I could see father's frown turn into a small smile.

"I said that."

"I may be your ray of sunshine but you're also mine. You're not stupid, you're the wisest person I know!"

"But-"

"And everyone has times when it gets cloudy and things don't run smoothly. Even when things seem like a tragedy." I smile, remembering the video of Katsunori and father in that play.

"Tragedy?"

"Yeah. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in one. Everyone around me is dying or getting hurt or trying to hang himself. Sometimes, it feels like I just ruin here by being here and that everything is directed towards me. It sucks feeling guilty for shit you could've done but you also couldn't have done because you just can't. I'm sure your life felt like a tragedy too. Your social-no, your romance life," Father chuckled a bit and I smiled. "Your relationship with your son and everything felt like absolute shit but you have to keep moving forward. You taught me that."

"Haruto, You really grown up and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry I didn't recognize-"

"Father, please stop saying sorry. Not everything's your fault."

"Oh, well, sorry."

We both start to laugh for a bit. The full one. The ones that make your stomach hurt. It feels good to laugh, especially with someone that you miss.

"Father! I told you to stop saying sorry!" I said between laughs.

"Sorry-"

"Father! You did it again!" We both started laughing again.

"You really are a ray of sunshine, Haruto."

"Sure."

"No, you really are. You know what kept me alive this afternoon?"

"What?"

"The sight of you. Your eyes slowly water and you run to your room. I thought to myself, maybe I shouldn't go." He grabbed my hand and held my hand tight in his rough hands, rough from fighting. "I made a promise to myself that I was going to get better."

I nod, my eyes starting to water. Father released my hand from his and I lifted my pinky.

"Pinky promise? You'll get better...right?"

"Pinky...pinky promise." Father was starting to cry too but he had a big smile on his face. "Pinky promise you'll be there with me for it?"

"Of course. Pinky promises you'll never leave me?"

Father nodded and we sealed the promise.

"You...you can never break that promise, okay?"

"Okay." I took a tissue and wiped father's face. He smiled and took the tissue from my hand. "Why are you crying?"

"Because someone broke my pinky promise before." Father then turned to stare at the jar of cranes. "What was your wish?" Father suddenly asked.

I smile. "It's already granted, father."

"Well, I have one last question for you, Haruto."

"What is it?"

"Will we have cake left over this year or will fate be the same?" We both turned to look at the cake sitting on the table and then at each other.

"We definitely...won't!"