Blood stained roses

CHAPTER 37

Younha

San came home six days ago and I spent more time at his place than at Yeosang's.
It's now 8 in the morning and I'm slowly getting out of his bed while he's still asleep.
Unfortunately, he tries to hug me but finds my side empty, opening his eyes to see where I am.

San : Why are you up already, we're not working today. You're already getting dressed ?
Younha : Um, yeah. I have an appointment in an hour.
San : An appointment ?
Younha : I told you what happened with my dad.
San : Yeah, that asshole.
Younha : Well Yeosang wanted me to see a therapist afterwards.
San : Oh, you're seeing a therapist ?
Younha : I am.
San : That's a great decision, I really hope they'll help you.
Younha : It's been good until now.
San : Okay, are you coming back here or do you want to just go home ?
Younha : I have to pass by Yeosang's place to get some clean clothes but I can always come back in the afternoon.
San : Maybe we can eat lunch somewhere ?
Younha : Sure, I'll call you when I'm done.
San : Great, have a good appointment.
Younha : I wouldn't say good but thank you.

Two hours later, I am still seating in the therapist's office. I am drying my tears with a tissue after spending the session talking about my childhood.

Therapist : Can you just tell me a little more about your boyfriend ? You said he also had a complicated childhood, how does that affect you ?
Younha : Well, we both have nightmares because of our pasts so we can understand each other better and help each other coping with them. To know that he has similar traumas to mine also helps me open up to him.
Therapist : I see. How long have you two been together ?
Younha : It's a bit complicated but long story short, we've been dating for almost a year and a half now.
Therapist : Did you ever encounter issues linked with your childhoods ?
Younha : We have but it's in the past now, it isn't a problem anymore.

I can't tell him about Hyeonsok, he would definitely send me in a mental hospital.

Therapist : What kind of issues ?
Younha : I told you it didn't matter anymore, we don't need to talk about this.
Therapist : Just by saying this, you prove that you need to talk about it.
Younha : I can't and I won't.
Therapist : Fine, we can get back to it next session.
Younha : No, that won't...whatever, I'm done for today I need to go home.

I almost burst out of his office and head back home. I get to Yeosang's apartment where he's just laying on the couch.

Yeosang : You're finally letting him breathe.
Younha : Shut up, stay away from the person you love the most in your life for two months and then you can talk.
Yeosang : Someone's sensitive, are you okay ?
Younha : Yes, it's nothing important.
Yeosang : Kang Younha bring your ass back here.

He makes me sit next to him.

Yeosang : What happened, did you guys get in a fight ?
Younha : No, everything is fine with San.
Yeosang : Then what's bothering you ?
Younha : I just saw my therapist, everything was going well, as usual, until he wanted to bring up my relationship with San. At first, it was basic questions so it was okay but he started insisting for me to tell him about our "past issues".
Yeosang : How is it a problem, he's your therapist.
Younha : I couldn't tell him about Hyeonsok, it would've been weird. But when I said I didn't want to talk about it, he still insisted and that annoyed me.
Yeosang : You don't think...nevermind, I'm being paranoid. He just wanted to help you work on those issues, don't take it the wrong way.
Younha : But he was so insistant.
Yeosang : It's his job.
Younha : Whatever, I need to call San.

I go to my room, still annoyed and call San.

Calling San

San : Hi honey, are you home ?
Younha : I am, do you still want to eat together ?
San : Of course, when will you be ready ?
Younha : In about ten minutes.
San : Great, I'll come pick you up then.

About half an hour later, we were both sitting in a small restaurant, food in front of us.

Younha : So, what have you done while I was gone ?
San : Nothing much. How was therapy for you ?
Younha : Annoying, I don't know when I'll go back yet.
San : I thought it was going well.
Younha : It was until today, he kept pushing to talk about us and the problems your brother caused.
San : You told him ?
Younha : No, I just mentioned issues.
San : You don't have to talk about it if you don't feel like it, nobody can force you to do so. And if you don't want to go back, we can find you someone else.
Younha : I don't know, maybe I should go to the next session and if it doesn't go well, I'll find someone else.
San : That sounds good. Hey, do you want to do something this afternoon to clear your mind ?
Younha : Sure, it's been so long since we haven't been on an actual date. What were you thinking about ?
San : Well, maybe we could just go see a movie.
Younha : Okay, I just need to run down to buy some groceries for Yeo and me, do we have time ?
San : Of course, I'll drive you there.

After we finished eating, we headed out to the closest grocery store, grabbing a cart and filling with what I need.

San : Do you think we can grab some ice cream ?
Younha : Why do you need ice cream for ?
San : Eat it while watching a movie with my girl.
Younha : You convinced me, take what you want.
San : I'm thinking...chocolate ?
Younha : You're thinking vanilla.
San : Vanilla it is.

He puts it in the cart and we continue our shopping.

San : Do you need chicken ?
Younha : It's not on the list, why ?
San : We could hand make some fried chicken.
Younha : Are you on your period to be craving some much things ?
San : Spend two months away from the world and you'll understand.
Younha : What did you eat when you were with him ?
San : Nothing that could even compete with fried chicken, that's for sure.
Younha : So actual torture.
San : Are you making fun of me ?
Younha : For once, no, I was serious. Just take whatever you want to eat baby, it'll be my welcome home present.
San : I had a good welcome home present all weekend, I'm surprise you can even walk.
Younha : Shut up or I'm putting back the ice cream.
San : Sorry. Anyway, let's hurry if we don't want to miss the start of the movie.