Secrets | Felix × Stray Kids ✔️

- 66‼️-

‼️SOME SLIGHT-MEDIUM S/H (DESCRIPTION OF BLOOD, BAD THOUGHTS, DIGGING NAILS INTO SKIN)‼️

Y'all asked for an extra update so don't be sad about it now though 😆

ALSO CAN WE TALK ABT SKZ WAIST LINE???? LIKE HELLOOOOO????

FIRST WE HAVE FELIX WITH HIS ABS AND TINY WAIST, THEN JISUNG WITH NO WAIST, JEONGIN WITH HIS ABS AND SLIM WAIST AND NOW HYUNJIN???? HELLO SIRS??? I KNOW YOU ARE GOOD BUT I'M NOT, I'M DYING (dying over skz photos really doesn't help while watching Criminal Minds).

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Felix's mind raced, spinning with thoughts he wasn’t sure he could control. He liked Minho. It hit him like a wave, washing over him with a weight that left him breathless. The memory of those golden, molten eyes staring into his own--so filled with understanding, warmth, and something else--lingered in his mind like a haunting melody.

But it wasn’t just Minho.

Hyunjin too.

The moment that thought slipped into his mind, Felix’s chest tightened further. Hyunjin had always been there--his bestfriend and the first one he met from the friend group--his playful smile, his delicate touch, the way his eyes softened when they shared quiet moments together. It wasn’t just the friendship they had built over time--it was something deeper. Something that made Felix’s heart beat (HEARTBEATUU-stan Changbin yall) just a little faster every time Hyunjin so much as looked at him.

Felix ran a shaky hand through his hair, staring at the ceiling. What was happening to him? Why was this so overwhelming? He should be happy--this kind of connection, this depth of emotion, it wasn’t something to fear. Right?

But fear had wrapped itself around Felix’s heart like a vice, squeezing tighter with each passing second. His mind swirled with bad thoughts, echoing doubts, and voices he had long tried to bury.

I know it's supposed to be right but why does it scare me?

The laughter that had filled the apartment earlier felt distant now, a cruel reminder of how easily everything could shatter. Felix clutched at his chest, willing the panic to subside, but the more he tried to push it away, the stronger it became.

You’re going to ruin everything.

He wasn’t just scared of rejection--no, it was something worse than that. It was the fear that loving them both meant he wasn’t enough. That maybe, just maybe, he was too broken to belong in their lives, in their world. The idea of being in love with not one, but two of his packmates, should have made him feel complete, whole. But instead, it left him feeling empty, like he was standing on the edge of something dangerous. But wait--

There's Jisung too...

He made me feel things that I've never felt before and he's one of the closest people that I trust a lot. What about Seungmin too? I kissed him first. Chan, Changbin? What about Jeongin? Oh God, oh God, oh GOD--!

Felix’s hands trembled, his breath coming out in shallow gasps as he sank to the floor beside the couch. He pulled his knees to his chest, hugging them tightly as if that could somehow stop the onslaught of negative thoughts.

What if they pity me....

He could feel tears prickling the corners of his eyes, his vision blurring as he tried to steady himself. His head throbbed, and despite the warmth of the apartment, a chill crept over him. His mind was his worst enemy right now, conjuring scenarios where everything went wrong, where Jisung, Minho and Hyunjin would look at him with disgust, with pity--the others sharing the same looks on their faces.

They could never love someone like you.

The voice in his head was relentless, cruel. Felix gritted his teeth, digging his nails into his arms, hoping the sharp sting would bring him back to reality. But all it did was deepen the ache inside him and now little blood pooling from his little marks.

Tears slipped down his cheeks, unbidden and unwanted, as he sat there on the cold floor, his body shaking with the weight of his thoughts. He was scared--terrified, actually. He didn’t know how to handle this, didn’t know how to talk to Minho or Hyunjin about what he was feeling. Chan, Jisung, the others? What if this changed everything for the worst?

The apartment, which had once felt full of life and warmth, now felt suffocatingly empty. Felix wrapped his arms tighter around himself, as though trying to hold himself together, as though if he let go, he might fall apart entirely.

You need to talk to them.

The thought came softly, like a whisper breaking through the storm of his mind. But even that seemed impossible. How could he possibly tell them?

More tears welled up in his eyes, and Felix let out a broken sob, his heart heavy with the fear of the unknown. He knew he couldn’t keep this to himself forever, but the thought of facing them, of admitting how he felt--about Minho, about Hyunjin, about all of them--it made his chest tighten painfully, even if maybe it was a good thing.

The doubts, the bad thoughts—they clung to him like shadows, dark and inescapable. His mind spiraled, his self-doubt whispering that he wasn’t enough, that he would always be a burden. He pressed his forehead against his knees, trying to block out the noise, but it was too much.

They’re better off without you.

The tears kept falling, quiet and steady, as Felix’s heart ached with a fear he couldn’t name. He wanted to be strong, to be brave enough to love them the way they deserved to be loved. But right now, all he could feel was the weight of his insecurities dragging him down, drowning him in fear and loneliness.

And with that, Felix drifted into an uneasy sleep, curled up on the floor, his tear-streaked face hidden in the crook of his arms. Tomorrow, he told himself. Tomorrow, he would have to face this. Face them. But for now, the night pressed down on him, heavy and suffocating, as his thoughts continued to chase him even in his dreams.

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Y'all asked for an extra update so here you go, you better tap the star even with the cliff-hanger 🔪