Draupadi

CHAPTER XXX

"They say there are five stages of grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Well, I'd like to add one more... revenge." 

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I am done mourning myself, feeling wrong, feeling as if something in me has died. I am done expecting the old me to suddenly wake up into life. Everything has changed. Nothing will be the way they were ever. I will never be the old me again. The woman I have become is impregnable. They say every woman's tragedy is that she becomes her mother and I have become the fire that gave birth to me. Everything I touch will destroy. The lands may become barren, all the water in the world may dry up, but no one shall ever dare to forget me. Within every woman lies both heaven and hell, hell has risen in me. I call Sahadeva "That flower you said in your dream, that flower is me." 

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Bheem smiles at me as he weaves the delicate flowers into my tangled hair. His eyes sparkle with admiration, and he says, "You've never looked so hauntingly beautiful before." "Was it hard to find the flower?" I ask him my voice silent. "I would do anything to see my lady smile like that again, the smile on your face when you saw that flower was priceless. I haven't seen you smile like that since the day we left Indhraprastha." he says his voice simple and sweet careful to not overwhelm me. "I met my brother, Lord Hanuman" I look at him surprised. Lord Hanuman, Bhagawan Ram's ardent devotee, the one who had crossed seas to find Mata Janaki. "He may be monkey faced. But when he showed his true roopam. I was in seventh heaven. His body glistened like gold. His eyes so deep one would drown in them." I looked at him, passion and devotion pouring out of his eyes. "He said when war came he would protect us. He would be present on our flag itself." I smiled. "The day will come soon Kalyani, when you are avenged. Until then Paanchali wait." he says pressing his lips to my temples. My heart feels a little less heavy. 

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Arjun has gone to heaven to receive celestial weapons, and Yudhisthra has met his father, Lord Yama, the god of death. We've been through so much. Yudhisthra listens to the stories of those who have suffered even more than we have. I don't quite understand how their pain can help us, but I know it matters to him. So, I sit beside him and listen, hoping to find some meaning in their struggles.

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"Has any king suffered more than I?" Yudhishthira asked the rishis.

"Listen to Rama's story," the rishi Maitreya told him. "Rama was blameless, but his father, King Dasharatha, exiled him at the behest of a jealous queen. For fourteen years, Rama lived as a forest hermit with his brother, Lakshmana, and his wife, Sita. Then the king of the rakshasas, Ravana, kidnapped Sita, and Rama had to wage a war to rescue her. He had no human allies, but with an army of monkeys, including the monkey-god Hanuman, he defeated Ravana. Only after all those hardships did Rama become king."

"There was also King Nala," Maitreya continued. "He lost his kingdom in a gambling match with his own brother, who then exiled Nala to the forest. Nala's loyal wife, Damayanti, accompanied him. Feeling ashamed, Nala abandoned her in the forest to live out his exile alone. Damayanti spent years searching for Nala but couldn't find him anywhere. Damayanti's father organized a swayamvara for her to choose a new husband, and Nala arrived, serving as charioteer to one of the kings seeking a bride. Damayanti recognized him, and together they won back Nala's kingdom and ruled again as king and queen."

Maitreya then told another story. "King Ashwapati's daughter Savitri chose to marry Satyavan, a prince living in poverty in the forest, supporting his blind father, a king who had lost his kingdom. Even worse: the royal astrologer predicted Satyavan would die in one year. But Savitri loved him, and when Yama took Satyavan to the land of the dead, she followed. 'You cannot follow!' Yama said, but Savitri persisted. Impressed, Yama granted her a wish. 'I want to bear Satyavan's children,' she said. Thus Yama had to restore Satyavan's life, thanks to Savitri."

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I absolutely loved this chapter, especially the conversation between Bheem and Draupadi. Their dynamic is so powerful and heartfelt! I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. If you did, please take a moment to read, vote, and share your thoughts in the comments. Your feedback is invaluable!