Draupadi

CHAPTER XLI

"Old men declare war. But it is the youth that must fight and die."

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I smear the sindoor on their foreheads before they go for war. Very few words are spoken as the tension spreads in the air. I look at my husbands, my sons, my siblings and my father as they walk towards battlefield. Krishna turns one last time and his gaze meets mine. He smiles and I can feel his assurance even from here. Krishna is with them. I have nothing to worry about. He'll take care. Subhadhra then holds my hand and walks me to our tent. The first day of the Kurukshetra war. I pray for a minute, quickly under my breath that everyone should come home safely. They have to. 

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When they return in the evening, Uttara is the first person to jump out of the tent. 

I scan all those who have returned. Everyone I sent in the morning is present. They're all wounded, but war is such. This is normal I convince myself. They're warriors they're used to it. As long as their is no major loss I should be releived.  

Uttara's body relaxes upon seeing Abhi unharmed. But he carries something in his arms. Then I realise in his arms lie Uttar, prince of Matsya, Uttara's brother bloodied and lifeless. 

"Is he...?" she manages to ask. 

Sudheshna faints and Abhimanyu nods his eyes filling with water. 

No. I think, Uttar is like my son. He's nearly as old as them and he is a sweet, solid young man. Uttara sinks to the ground. 

I look at my husbands, how will they console King Virat? My heart aches for Uttara, for King Virat, for the boy's mother. 

Abhimanyu lays his body on solid ground on a peice of cloth for everyone to mourn before he is cremated and I can't help but cry silently along with Uttara. Uttara sobs and Abhimanyu wraps his arm around her. She hides her face in his arm and Abhimanyu and my other sons look deeply sad. 

"I want him back!" she tells Abhimanyu, stricken by grief. "I want my brother back Aarya!" she says again and again and the unshed tears escape Abhimanyu's eyes. 

"He died a brave death Uttara, he'll be remembered throughout history. People will praise him for his brave actions Uttara." he says his voice cracking in between. 

"I don't want all that, I want him back Aarya. I love him so much. I cant carry on without him." Her voice is so raspy and cracks for every word. "You know how excited he was when he knew I was pregnant." 

I can't bear it anymore. Everyone is crying. My husbands look just as devastated. We all are. He's a young man with the hugest heart and he died. It isn't fair. 

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"The Kauravas won today. They're celebrating their victory," Yudhishthira says, his voice barely more than a whisper.

"They might have won this battle," Arjuna replies, a fierce resolve igniting in his eyes. "But we will win the war. We've sacrificed too much to lose now." There's a shift in him, a transformation I can't quite grasp—his gaze is steely, filled with a certainty that seems almost otherworldly.

I watch him, feeling a strange mix of admiration and unease. What drives this newfound conviction? Perhaps it's the weight of our losses, the blood spilled in the name of honor. We've given everything—our hopes, our dreams, our very hearts. Victory isn't just a goal; it's a necessity. 

"We have no choice," Arjuna continues, his voice steady, resonating with an unyielding strength. "We've fought too hard and lost too much. This isn't just about us anymore; it's about everyone who believes in our cause." His words hang in the air, a rallying cry that ignites a flicker of hope in my chest. The war is not over. It has just began. And they know losing isn't something we do. 

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