Consider Me

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Lily

Either I have lost my mind or the event of this afternoon has fucked me with my head enough to push out all my logic. I am not making good decisions after returning from the cafe and finding out that the stranger who claimed to have some weird relation with me is none other than my birth father. 

I haven't been well after hearing that news. I mean who would? How do you react to something like this? Are you sad? Are you angry? Do you feel betrayed? Or am I supposed to be happy that the person who I thought abandoned me for eighteen years actually had no idea that I ever existed. 

Does that mean my mother lied to me? Just thinking about that makes me guilty. What right do I have to accuse my mother of lying to me when she was the parent who stuck with me and not the other way around? I know what false accusation does to your head. But how do I tell this to my gut feeling? Why do I trust that stranger? I don't know him. I know my mother. I know she wouldn't hide something so big from me. But what if she did?

Hours went by thinking about things that is happening around me. I didn't stop for drinking water or went to the washroom. I just kept dancing and dancing hoping the music and my bodily movement would help me forget the last few days from my head. 

The competition is next week. I don't need this right now. 

But life doesn't always work according to your wishes. 

When I fell on my knees in the empty studio, the dim light hid my reflection on the mirror, but I can see all the storm in my head. I needed a distraction. An out. I quickly went to the bathroom limply, my feet aching and use the communal shower to get the sweat of my body. Then when I felt a little better, I went back to the studio floors and sat and called Lucas.

I didn't think he would pick up but he did and I couldn't stop myself from hiding the truth. Not that I ever did from him. I was transparent as hell with him so when I ask him to deliver me some mind-blowing orgasm on the call, he surprised me with his answer. 

Now he was rushing to be here and I had a different kind of need for him in my body. In a specific place where I wouldn't him to take his time. Lucas and distraction are my best combination. 

I was still sitting on the dance floor when I heard a thump outside the hallway. The studio was on fourth floor. A private room where only dance students are allowed to come. Since it was eight in the night, chances of other students lingering were slim.

My racing heart immediately knew who it was though and I push my wet locks behind my ears. I checked my shower robe in the giant mirror that is placed one side of the room, scowling at my tired face then walked to the door on the far left hoping sex with Lucas would help me. I want some distraction so badly. I feel like if I keep thinking about all the things that has been going wrong in my life, I will spiral. 

Lucas opens the door before I reach it. 

"You are a horrible tease," He says walking my direction. 

"I know," I say, wrapping my arms around his neck when he gets closer, and kiss him. I rise on my tip toes to deepen the kiss and welcome the lovely currents all over my body. Distraction. Lucas pulls me by my waist then leans down and sucks my lower lip.

My worries, my stress seems to jump out of my body as if they're repelled by his presence. I smile against his mouth- my Lucas and tilt my head sideways to take all of his lips while my fingers move from his neck to the back of his head and grab his hair. 

We kiss for another few minutes before I feel him pull away and flip me against the mirrored wall where I see my flushed cheek and swollen lips. Butterflies make way to a sacred place and I breathe hard as I see Lucas's reflection on the mirror. Wild dark eyes that carry filthy intentions for my body, rumpled hair that makes him cute and dangerous.