Consider Me

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Lily

Lucas is acting weird. Ryan too but I am more concerned about my boyfriend. Why does he look like he want to beat the shit out of someone? His usual playfulness is missing and instead he looks confused and furious I don't know why. 

We were hunting for an empty class, four of us desperate to know what was happening around in the campus but our lunch break was over and we had to reluctantly go back to our classes. Sabina and I had History while Lucas and Ryan had Math. We made a plan to see each other after school but with my dance practice and Lucas's Basketball we didn't had much time today. 

It's been only a month and a half since our final year started so basketball practice was held off until all the students familiarized academically. Starting today, the athletes would begun their evening practices and follow up pre-game meet ups with their coaches. New students- freshers mostly joined the school team, and new the captains and vice-captains would be chosen from among the seniors. 

In short, none of us were free even after school hours.

We decided to hold off our discussion until Saturday hoping we'll be able to take a breath on the weekends. But like always, hope is a bitch whenever a flicker of doubt is involved. Three days has passed since the almost revelation of what was going around in campus. Three days of restless energy. 

We all have moved back to our regular old life. School, part-time, assignments, classes and it was taking a lot longer for all of us catch up. It's as if the relaxation we got from the trip was just the calm before a thunderstorm. 

Lucas and I've been texting each other a lot. He picks me up every morning and every night mom asks me about him. We see each other on campus a few times but mostly we're both busy with our respective practices. Since, Lucas have been voted as a captain, his attention regarding his team has increased. My dance practice with Sabina has terribly hogged all my evening. Sometimes I practice alone because the thing happened in Prof. Douglas's office is stuck in my head. 

I am sad that she accused me of doing such a thing and angry that she thinks my dance isn't enough to beat Gloria- if she actually had participated. That if is a really big question mark. Sometimes I feel like barging into Prof. Douglas's office and tell her, what if Gloria was sabotaging me.

Whatever.

I keep telling myself to forget the little doubt she had for my dance, to forget she thinks my dance isn't good but once a doubt creeps inside your head it's difficult to tame it out. I am pushing myself the entire week, studying music, planning rhythm, checking my flexibility, pairing the music with my movements, then shifting to Sabina because she's my partner and we're performing together. 

After days of learning and testing, I finalized on a theme and talked to Sabina. It was finally Saturday, the whole week has passed and we found some time to alleviate stress in a small quaint coffee shop in the neighborhood. Lucas would meet here but he still has more than an hour to arrive. The sun hasn't even set yet. 

Tracing the rim of the white coffee mug, Sabina stares at the foamy art and hums. Processing what I just said regarding our dance piece. Her hair is in a high ponytail that moves every once in a while a short breeze touches our face. "Where did you get this idea?"

I cross my leg and looked out the window next to our table. "I watched a plane on my way to the school one morning," She frowns, "I liked how far up in the clouds it was flying. I was envious of its wings. The pilot who get to see the world up from there," I lift my shoulder, "How tiny we looked? How small our problems seemed," I sigh, my energy from the practice earlier draining me. 

Sabina licks the foam from her upper lip. Her gaze soft and concerned. A bit angry too that I gave her full ticket to feel. I am angry too. "You're still thinking about what Douglas said, aren't you?"