Consider Me

Chapter Fifty Two: Climax

LILY

Do you know those car rides when you picture yourself in a main character moment? 

I am experiencing those in real as I dangle from the aerial hoop with all my might. Don't fall is all I chant. Don't look down. Don't scream. Help is on the way I kept saying. I kept repeating because Lucas is here and I know he won't let anything happen to me. 

Yet I couldn't help but relieve all my life journey like a reel. One by one they go. So many moments I had with my mother. The time we spend together. How happy we were. All those after-school hours with Sabina. Finding out my Dad didn't abandon me. Falling in love with Lucas. 

It all flashes and I realize I have lived a good life. Despite the small flaws like my mother's lies or my fight with Gloria, I had everything. Love. Friendship. Respect. Intimate luxuries. 

It's funny how the last moment of your life can make you see all the things that you once had taken for granted. I didn't want to cry and put myself at more disadvantage but I couldn't help it. 

My arms are tired. My eyes are burning with stage lights glowing brightly on the ceiling. I can't look down and risk falling but the more my eyes stay glued up, the more the bright light becomes consuming.

"Lily!" I hear Sabina's voice. Frantic. Full of panic. "Don't let go Lily,"

"L-lights," I say but nobody heard me. 

The hoop makes another sound as if my weight is slowly pulling it down. The sudden shift made me lose my grip. My right hand slips and more people scream among which I hear my mum's tremor. God, she must be so scared right now.

"Mom," I sniff. 

I am so scared right now thinking that I can die any minute. Why did I think this was a good option? Just why? I knew something was wrong the second I took hold of the aerial hoop and it climbed more than the required height. I told my coach that eight feet is enough for me but this seems more than that. 

Maybe ten or twelve. God. 

If I fall I won't just break my bones, I would really die. This height isn't recommended for beginners or without a crush mat.   

Where are you, Lucas? Please help me. I don't wanna die. I want to live my life. I want to grow old with you. I want to be a dancer. I want to apologize to Mum and tell her I love her and that I was only mad because I was hurt not because I hated her. I want to click pictures with Dad and make memories. 

All these thoughts muddle up until I start feeling lightheaded. I hear someone running. Someone shouts. But it all becomes a blur the more I stare at the bright stage light. Is that god? 

I try to reach for him with my left hand when the first pull of gravity. Einstein would be proud. My hair flows upwards the more I fall down and then I hear a loud crack. 

"NOOOO!!!"

"LILY!!!!"

 It's dark after that. 

LUCAS

No. 

NO NO NO NO.

No.

My heart stops the moment Lily's hand slips.

Time fractures. The world slows. One second she's in the air—glowing, flying—and the next, she's falling.

I don't think. I dive, arms outstretched, like I can rewrite gravity. Her body slams into mine with a force that knocks the breath from my chest. We hit the ground—hard. A flash of pain tears through my shoulder, white-hot and blinding, but I don't care.