Clueless Boy - Minsung

Chapter 11

Jisung went through some spiraling thoughts after the harsh discussion they had.

At first, he was completely deep in confusion. His brain had frozen, and refused to accept all the new informations coming through him.

He spent some time on his bed, his door closed, staring at the ceiling and processing everything.

He went through some denial, wondering if Minho wasn't only lying to him. But he also trust him, and he had already understood since he arrived that it was a whole new world.

He ended up reading what Minho had told him, and the shock was harsh.

But the fact that his own world was weird and not the others, it hurt his brain.

He spent the weekend closed up in his room.

In the other side, Minho was understanding.

Understanding that your whole construction lays on a lie must have been a big shock, and he didn't want to push more.

But he got a bit worried when he really didn't want to come out of his room.

He even called for him a few times, and Jisung would only hum back.

Until Sunday night arrived, and Minho saw the boy finally leave his room.

He looked at the boy with disheveled hair and a desesperate expression.

He smiled sadly at him.

"Wanna have dinner ?" Minho offered gently, showing him what he was cooking.

Jisung only nodded cutely, and walked to grab some plates for the two of them.

In silence, they prepared the table, and Minho shared his food with him.

As they started digging in, Jisung sighed loudly.

"I read" Jisung said, somehow defeated.

"You did ?" Minho smiled, encouraging him to speak up.

"Mmh" He nodded, looking at his plate

"So, what did you think of it ?"

"I understand" He said lowly "Most of the things we do in my town aren't legal ... and aren't supposed to be"

"Do you understand why they aren't legal ?" Minho continued.

"Depends" He shrugged "I think it's a bit complicated, but I'm trying"

"What was the hardest, then ?"

Jisung thought for a minute.

"The fact that men and women are equal ?" He said, still confused "I thought we weren't. That's how our system worked"

"So... you feel uncomfortable with that idea ?" He asked.

"Not uncomfortable" He shrugged "Just confused"

Minho nodded along. That was pretty legit.

"And also ... the fact that children beating is illegal too" He continued

"Yeah..." 

"I understand that one better" He admitted, wincing a bit "But it seemed so... normal"

"It'll take some time, Jisung" Minho reassured, speaking softly "It's normal for you to feel so confused. Your entire life has been lead by your town's rules, it's easy to believe those more. But it's a good thing your slowly understanding"

"Mmh" He said, and pursued his lips.

"Is there more ?" He asked.

"About homosexuality ... It's legal, but marriage isn't" He said, raising his head to look at him "Why ?"

Minho sighed.

"Because our contry 'tolerates' homosexuality, but doesn't want to... agree fully" Minho said.

"Why ?"

"Because mentalities are slowly changing, but it's a very long process" Minho explained "It's been years that we've been stigmatized. People like you grew up thinking gays aren't normal, and now that it's proven to be false, it's still hard to take those idea out of minds"

"Oh"

"Are you understanding ?" Minho asked softly.

"I think so" He nodded.

"Good then" Minho smiled, enthusiastic.

But Jisung's face was still closed up, still sad.

"What's wrong ?" He asked, helping him putting the dishes away.

"I just-" Jisung sighed "I think I'll never get back home" He said, somehow saddened.

"Why ?"

"Because ... they'll see that I don't believe in them anymore" Jisung opened up, biting his lower lip

"Is it that bad ? Do you miss being there ?" Minho asked.

"I mean ... It's where I grew up" He shrugged

"But it's also where you suffered your entire life" Minho frowned.

"I didn't suffer much" He shrugged again "If anything ... I had people doing things for me and I was okay with it"

"Because you were brainwashed, Ji" Minho insisted "Now that you know it isn't normal. Would you be okay letting the women of your town being at your service ?"

"I don't think so" He responded, unsure.

Minho wanted to nag him for this, but decided to be patient.

Again, Jisung isn't responsible of the education they forced on him.

"Also ... you got hurt, didn't you ? They don't want to care for you Jisung ... They want you to be just like them" He added.

He nodded, agreeing on that point.

"If my mom knew this ..." Jisung said, sighing loudly "She'd kill me"

"Jisung, she doesn't have to know" Minho reassured

"What if she finds out ?" He asked, somehow scared.

"Let's hope she won't" Minho only responded, smiling reassuringly.

Another silence filled the room.

Jisung finished washing the dishes by himself while Minho tidied up the rest of the living room.

And when it was over, he walked to the couch and sat, still staring at the ceiling.

"Minho" He called softly.

"Yes ?"

"I don't know what to think of all of this" He admitted, his gaze empty.

And Minho felt pity for him.

"It's normal" He reassured "Cut yourself some slack, mmh ?"

"Cut what ?" He frowned, looking at Minho with more confusion.

At the look, Minho chuckled slightly.

"Just be kind to yourself. Let your brain rest a bit and think about all of this step by step" He corrected, encouraging him "It'll get better with time, alright ?"

He nodded.

"You will hit me if I don't believe in your stuff ?" Jisung asked.

"What ? No" Minho frowned "I'll send you more articles to read"

"Oh" He nodded "So you'd help me ?"

"I can try" He responded with a soft smile

"Thanks Minho"

"You're welcome, Jisung"