Clueless Boy - Minsung

Chapter 77

The first session was today.

After a few sessions he had with the therapist, Minho has been analyzed as someone who could meet Jisung safely.

He received a lot of advice for it, of course.

And even if the therapist was hopeful, she was also somehow very concerned for Minho's mental health. The boy already seemed pretty broken from everything. If Jisung keeps on rejecting his presence, Minho could get really affected.

But Minho didn't care much.

All he wanted was to have Jisung back.

"Ready ?" Seungmin asked, walking to his living room and approaching Minho who was having breakfast.

"Yeah" Minho sighed.

"Anxious ?"

"Kinda" He shrugged.

Seungmin softened.

He patted his back softly.

"It'll go well" He reassured "Maybe not today, but at some point it will"

Minho breathed out loudly, and nodded.

It needed to go well.

Jisung has been obviously warned that Minho will, at some point, enter the room.

He was fidgeting on his chair, as the therapist tried to keep talking to him.

"Do you feel ready, Jisung ?" She asked cautiously.

He nodded, unsure.

"If at any point, you feel the need to stop all of it, Minho will leave the room. You just have to raise your hand and we'll stop, okay ?"

He nodded again.

"Minho, come in !"

At the sound of the door opening, Jisung immediately tensed.

Minho gulped loudly, watching Jisung's back as he entered very slowly.

He closed the door, and watched how he flinched at the sound.

He wanted so badly to hold him.

"He just entered, the door is closed, but it can be open as soon as you want to" She explained to Jisung.

During the entire time, she guided them.

She explained to Jisung everything that was happening, and she told Minho what to do and when.

"Okay, step once" She told Minho.

Minho did, and Jisung immediately put his legs up his chair, hugging his legs.

Minho was frowning upon watching all of it, his heart ripping at the sight.

He wanted to reassure him, but he wasn't allowed to talk.

They were too unsure of Jisung's reaction if he did.

"Jisung, are you able to turn to look at him ?" She asked softly.

Jisung stared at first, not responding at all.
Then, he shook his head.

He couldn't

He was terrified.

He let his head fall on his knees, putting his arms around his head, shielding himself.

At that, Minho closed his eyes. It was way too hard to watch.

"Minho is going to step one time forward, okay ?" She asked.

Jisung nodded, head still buried.

She signaled to Minho to come closer, and again, he stepped once.

At that, Jisung went feral.

At the only sound of Minho's step, he started shaking his head violently.

He started breathing loudly.

"Jisung remember, raise your hand if you want it to stop" She repeated.

Jisung was still shaking his head, but wasn't raising his hand.

After a few more minutes, they started again.

"Once again" She said.

But this time, Jisung couldn't bear with it.

He raised his hand high.

But it wasn't the only thing he did.

He screamed out, completely panicked.

"RED"

At that, both Minho and the therapist widened their eyes, surprised.

Not only it was the first time Jisung spoke in front of the therapist.

But it was also a word that really wasn't unknown to Minho.

"Okay, Minho will leave the room" She said softly "Minho, I'll ask you to stay in the room aside, until Jisung exits this room, and the waiting room, alright ?"

Minho nodded.

He smiled subtly at the therapist, thanking her for this, and he left for the room aside.

He sat down, and thought.

It was extremely hard to watch it, harder than he thought.

Seeing his Jisung in such a state, because of his presence, it was hard to bear with.

But he heard his voice, after so long.

And it was fueling him.

Quickly, the therapist asked Minho to come back.

They sat, both needing to give feedback about what had happened.

"What about this 'Red' ?" She asked, extremely curious.

"I-" He gulped, blushing so slightly "When we- ...used to engage in sexual relationships ... We used a color system" He explained, embarrassed.

"Can you describe it to me ?" She asked, serious.

"Well... Green for 'go', Yellow for ... slow ... and Red for stop" He continued.

"So it's a system between you and him, right ?" She asked, nodding and writing it down.

"Y-Yes"

She hummed to herself, writing more things down.

"Interesting" She nodded "That means he knows that it's you, perfectly well. In our first sessions, Jisung had a hard time staying concentrated, he had a lot of depersonalizations, and today, it shows he really was himself, and concentrated on what we did. He knows that you're the one understanding his words. For all the time he has been suffering and has been healing, he speaks out loud only for you" She explained

Minho listened carefully, not knowing what to say.

"And it's a system. That also means he trusts you to respect the system you two put up. This is a very good sign" She said, optimistic.

Minho wanted to cry.

This was too good to be true.

"But he's still terrified of me" He mumbled, his voice wavering so slightly.

"Minho, he's only wanting to speak out loud when you're there, and to you. As complicated as the situation is, this is very important for Jisung to be able to heal."

Minho spent the night repeating this in his mind.