Clueless Boy - Minsung

Chapter 32

Jisung was delighted to have his bond with Minho back.

He was happier.

He didn't question it much, he was simply happy to have his moments with the older once again.

Their little rhythm was back, and the hangouts with the full group were too.

But as much as he appreciated it, something was taunting him.

He would go back to his queer awakening.

He would still not stay anything about it to Minho, but he couldn't help but question it.

Something that didn't sit right with him, was the fact that he didn't got his awakening when Minho kissed him.

If he was so comfortable with him, why didn't he feel anything at this moment ?

He was still concentrated on what Felix had said.

That he couldn't feel anything because it was "meaningless"

Then how would he feel if they kissed, meaningfully ?

As innocent as his thought was, it strucked him.

And he was really wanting to know.

"Was the dinner good ?" Minho asked softly, taking the dishes off the table.

"Perfect" Jisung responded "How did you learn how to cook ?" He asked curiously.

"My dad would always cook at home, and I was always very curious. In my teen years, I started cooking along with him. He taught me" Minho explained.

"Right ... I forgot dads are supposed to leave with their family" Jisung said, a bit confused.

Minho glanced at Jisung at that, always feeling some pity when Jisung said things like that.

"I can teach you how to cook, someday" He offered, smiling at the boy.

"Maybe, yeah" Jisung responded with a chuckle.

In fact, he was really glad Minho did the cooking.

Jisung stayed at the table while Minho washed the dishes.

Today, Minho insisted on doing it because Jisung did the groceries, and he was rather glad.

But as he stared at him, the thought came back and hit him like a truck.

What would happen if they kissed again ?

He read book, not so long ago, about a beautiful romance story.

He remembers the feeling that was described as the two characters shared a kiss : an unimaginable wave that fell on them and could be felt in their entire body. Like the thunder fell on them and there was no other better truth than the love they shared.

He wanted that.

He wanted to love.

"Min ?"

"Mmh ?"

"Can you kiss me once again ?"

Minho let the dish he was holding fall in the sink as he heard the question.

It was too out of nowhere. Too real.

His heartbeat picked up, as he washed his hands and turned to the boy, confusion written all over his face.

"What ?" He asked, making sure he had heard correctly.

His breathing quickened, and the butterflies in his belly had woken up.

"Can you kiss me once again ?" He repeated, in the same way, with the same doe and pretty eyes.

Minho gulped at that.

"W-Why ?" Minho asked

He didn't know why, but that made him feel anxious.

"I wanted to understand why I felt nothing that last time" Jisung said innocently, smiling "Can we retry ?"

And Minho's heart fell.

You felt nothing because you feel nothing, Jisung.

Remembering the moment they shared was something.

But remembering the sadness that fell on him right after was terrifying.

The pit in his stomach, the tears at his heart, the hope that completely broke in half at that very moment.

All of this ruined him for weeks, and he suddenly felt like everything was too unfair.

Yes, Jisung didn't know about his feelings for him. But yes, Jisung has been continuously hurting him, even unconsciously.

So he frowned.

"What ?" He asked again, not so delicately.

"I- You don't have to" Jisung tried to correct, noticing Minho slight uneasiness.

"But why would you ask me that ?!" He asked, anger slowly filling his veins.

Why was it so unfair ?

Why must he hurt more ?

"I- I don't know" Jisung defended, weirded out.

Minho scoffed, crossing his arms.

"Why would you do that to me ?!" He raised his voice.

He could feel the tears prickling at his eyes.

He knew he was being dramatic, but it was like weeks of torment had decided to flew up at this very moment, and he couldn't control it one bit.

"what ?" Jisung responded, completely lost.

Minho only sighed, breath scattered.

He wanted nothing more than to yell out all the thoughts that were around him for weeks.

He wanted to cry out loud, let his body fall.

But he couldn't show that to Jisung.

Rushingly, he picked up his phone and hurried to the door.

Jisung didn't dare to move, still completely oblivious of what was happening.

In a second, Minho had left, and Jisung was all alone at the dorm.

In a panic, Jisung called the boys at home, stating something weird had happened and that he need their help.

In minutes, Jeongin Seungmin Hyunjin and Felix entered.

They sat around the table as Jisung explained it all.

They listened as he told them about the first kiss, about his own questions, and about the argument that rose just minutes ago.

The three of them had taken a grasp of the situation, but none of them knew how to vocalize it to Jisung.

Also, almost none of them have been noticing anything lately.

Until Seungmin decided to.

"But have you never noticed how enamored he is with you ?" Seungmin said

Jisung's eyes widened, as if the most surprising thing had left Seungmin's mouth.

"He- He does ?" He asked weakly.