Clueless Boy - Minsung

Chapter 63

Jisung spent a lot of days deep in thoughts.

Minho was slightly worried, oftenly realizing Jisung wasn't listening, too busy talking to himself in his mind.

He didn't want to disturb his thoughts, and supposed it'll be like that until Jisung really moves on from his mother's visit.

"Min" Jisung suddenly called, making the older look at him.

"Yes, love ?"

"I thought a lot" He said

"Mmh ?" Minho said, walking closer to the couch and sitting next to him.

"I took a decision" He said, sighing right after.

Minho stared, waiting.

"I'm gonna escape the town" He finally said, then breathed out.

It took efforts for him to say it outloud.

Minho's wide smile spread to his face, looking at him with a joyful look.

"Really ?!" Minho asked.

"Yeah" Jisung chuckled at his giddy expression.

"Okay, what are you thinking of doing ?" Minho asked excitedly, getting closer.

"I'll block them all on my phone, and ask the University to cut down every contact with them either, and forbid them to enter the dorms. I'll never get back there ever, and I'll ignore everything" He added with a smile, because Minho's wide one was contagious.

"Fuck, I'm so fucking happy for you" Minho exclaimed, grabbing Jisung's hand.

"But-" 

"Oh" Minho stared, gazing curiously.

"I also wanna save them" Jisung admitted "If I had the chance to save myself, I'd like other people to do it too"

Minho softened, loving his boyfriend even more, if possible.

"I- I'm still thinking about how I'm going to do it, but I want to" He repeated "And that .. also implies I'd have to get back one last time before disappearing forever"

Minho was a bit more reluctant at that, but right now it didn't matter. Jisung was ready to fly by his own wings, and he felt proud of his boy.

"Good job, baby" Minho said, suddenly pushing Jisung into a hug as he laid down on him.

Jisung laughed loudly, complaining about being held down.

Minho didn't respond, he only littered his face on many kisses, under Jisung giggles.

"I can't believe we finally finished this project" Hyunjin whined, stirring.

"Only took us 3 days ..." Jisung groaned, stirring as well.

They sat on Hyunjin's couch for a moment, letting their brain relax for a moment.

"Hyunjin" Jisung called, looking at him.

"Yep ?"

"I'd like to ask something" He mumbled "But I think it's insensitive"

Hyunjin gazed curiously.

"Spit it out"

Jisung almost spat.

Then remembered the expression, shaking his head.

"Um... How does it feel, to lose his family forever ?" He asked shyly.

Hyunjin winced at the question, not liking the way it was worded.

Then he looked  at him, and noticed the deep worry that was written all over his face.

"Your thinking about quitting your town ?" Hyunjin asked.

Jisung nodded, biting his lower lip.

Hyunjin sighed, sitting straight.

If his words could encourage Jisung doing what was the best for him, then he'll explain.

"Well... It was the most painful thing that ever happened to me" Hyunjin said, and Jisung frowned.

That wasn't what Jisung was wanting to hear.

"It's like ... there's a wall between you and your former self. Like you know you can look back at yourself when you were younger, but nothing will ever be the same. That never in your life you'd be able to go back to littlest comfort you use to feel during childhood" He continued.

Jisung bit his lower lip harder.

"But ... at the same time ... it's the best thing that ever happened to me. As the time passes, as things move on ... It gets better. We adapt, we were made for that." He smiled sadly "And as the pain fades, we end up realizing how much of a good thing we did, how we saved ourselves. I... I could have been under my dad's hold, I could have been beaten for being gay, I could have seen my mom die in his hands ... who knows what would have happened in another scenario ? All that I know ... is that I'm happy to not feel badly loved. I chose the families I wanted, the ones that genuinely love me" He said, and watched the way Jisung had softened, eyes teary.

"Other families ?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Yeah" He smiled "You all. I... don't own a lot, nor I own parents and a household and stuff... But I have my friends and it's good enough to me. I know Seungmin since ...ever" He chuckled "And he was the one staying with me throughout it all... I chose my new family"

Jisung thought that it was beautiful.

"I think Minho is my family" He muttered.

Going back home that night, Jisung was determined.

He arrived at his dorm, and ran to his lover, as usual.

"Minho" He said, smiling.

"Yes, baby ?" He responded, pecking his lips as a greeting.

"Next weekend" He muttered, breathing out "I'll go there"

Minho stared at his eyes, watching his enthusiasm.

"And it'll be the last time" 

"Okay" Minho smiled a bit, worried but content "What's your plan ?"

"I want to bring more stuff from my house, and I'd like to see my mother one last time" He started, then stared at the ceiling, thinking more "Then I'd like to pass by the city, by the library, and maybe hide a book there ..."

"A book about ?" Minho asked.

"Cults" He smiled "Maybe someone will find it someday, and break it down"

"I think it's a lot of ambition, Ji ..." Minho honnestly responded.

"I know" he chuckled "It's okay. I'll find something else to help"

"You're really brave, my love" Minho said with a soft smile, pecking his lips again.

That night, Minho cuddled Jisung to sleep.

In all honesty, he was worried, like everytime Jisung was involved with his town.

But he couldn't be more proud of him.