After the rebellion

Numb

*Katniss Pov* 

I walk home to Victors village and that is when I see him, my boy with the bread. 

"Peeta?" 

"Hey. He says. 

I see that in his hand's are some sort of flower, and its when I realize it is a primrose. 

"I found these by the edge of the forest. He says. 

"It's a primrose" 

Without thinking I walk over to him and embrace him. His sweet scent of peppermints calms me, and I realize how much I missed him. 

I'm so sorry Katniss. He says. 

I bury my face in his shoulder and we let go of each other. 

I feel like it is so awkward between us like we are strangers again. 

Would you like to come over tonight to catch up. I ask. 

I would love to Katniss. He says.  

_

*Peeta Pov* 

For the first time in 3 months I see Katniss she did not look like the girl I once knew the girl who sang the valley song, and the girl who saved my life in the games. 

Dr. Arulieas helped get most of my memories back but some things still have that shiny effect, and I still get flashbacks. 

I walk into my home in the Victors Village and I see nothing in this home that is mine. I decide to walk up to my room and some old clothes from the capitol are hanging in my closet. I don't dare to touch them. 

I decided to unpack all my stuff in the guest room for a new start because I cannot bare staying in the same room I once did. 

I unpack some clothes and a couple of meaningful things. 

I put all my clothes in the dresser and my jackets hang in the closet. 

I put a picture of my family on my nightstand, and I put a small picture of Katniss in the drawer. 

When I was getting my treatment in the Capitol I painted this small picture of Katniss on a very small canvas that is a little bigger than my hand. 

It helped me remember her.

It's a picture of her smiling something I rarely ever saw and the joy in her gray eyes shine and she wears a dark green sweater with her long hair in a braid. 

Katniss looks nothing like that today, she is very skinny, her eyes are dull and are filled with pain, and she is not happy. 

I know it has been hard for her, Prim is gone, Her mother never came home, Gale is in 2, and she blames herself for many deaths. 

All she has had was Greasy Sae and Haymitch, but he is mostly drunk. 

I decide I am going to go visit Haymitch, after all he is part of the reason I am still here today. 

I walk through the victors village and I approach Haymitch's house and knock on the door. 

He opens the door with the same dull look in his eyes. 

Peeta your back, come in. He says. 

Yep. I say walking in the house. 

How have you been Haymitch. I ask. I have been alright, its the girl I am worried about. He says. By the way did you say hello to her yet? 

Yes I have, She invited me over tonight

She has not been well Peeta, she cuts herself, she starves herself, and she hardly leaves the house. 

She cuts herself? I ask shocked. 

Yes boy she did this morning. He says. 

Was it bad? I ask. 

Not the worst, but she keeps cutting an infected wound. Luckily Greasy Sae or I have found her before she bleeds out. 

We have been trying to keep her alive as long as we can, but when someone doesn't have any reason to live its hard. We shove food down her throat and we try to take all her blades away from her. 

You have to be her reason to live, boy. He says to me. 

I'm trying to save her, but I am also trying to mend myself as well. 

I try to stay sober to look after he but it's hard for me. He says. 

I'll try to help her. I say. 

We all missed you. He says. I missed you too Haymtich. I say.

He gives me a pat on the back and I head to my house to shower, and rinse all the Capitol of me. 

_

*Katniss Pov* 

I decide to shower for the first time in four days, when I feel this numb I don't see the reason to clean myself. 

I wash my hair with strawberry scented shampoo and conditioner. 

I run my hands through my hair getting all the first and oils out. I distribute the conditioner through my ends causing my hair to be soft and shiny. 

I get out of the shower and wrap myself in a towel. 

I bandaged my arm again the way my mom taught me when I was younger. I put on some jeans and a long sleeve black shirt. 

I hear a knock on the door, and I go downstairs to go see who it is. 

I see Peeta in the doorway and I tell him to come inside. We both sit down in the living room and Buttercup jumps into my lap. 

How have you been Katniss. He says. 

I have been good. I lie. 

Katniss I we both know that is not true you do not have to lie to me. He says in a calming tone. 

I let a small tear slide out of my eye. I have been horrible Peeta. I say. 

I don't want to be here every night I hope that the next morning I won't wake up and I can just leave this world filled with pain. 

"I want to be dead" I cry. 

Katniss come here. He says. 

I go over to him and he scoops me up in his lap and I cry into his shoulder for what seems like hours. 

It's going to be alright, I need you to stay here for me. He says. 

"She would want you to stay" He says. 

I know he is talking about my little duck, and he is not wrong Prim would want me to live, she would want me to enjoy my life. 

I'll try. I say. 

I need you to stop cutting yourself, and eat food every day. 

Okay. I say. 

He makes me a very small portion of lamb stew, and I smile knowing that he remembered my favorite dinner. 

I am glad he gave me just a little bit because I don't think I could eat too much food right now.

Okay Katniss, you should go to bed now. He says. 

I get in bed and he says goodnight to me and walks to the door frame of my room. 

"Peeta, will you stay with me?" 

Yeah. He says while getting into my bed. 

I lay on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. 

"Always." He says.