After the rebellion

I'll miss you

*Katniss Pov*

I lay in my bed and I stare at the wall motionless, it is around 8:00 in the morning, and the whole night I have started at the same spot on the wall. 

I feel like how I did before Peeta returned home, empty, numb, and scared. I have been trying to hide it from Peeta but he knows me too well and he's been worried sick .

He looks so peaceful when he sleeps with his blonde curly hair a mess. He begins to wake and I put a smile on my face. 

Morning Darling, how long have you been up? He asks. 

Only around 20 or 15 minutes, I didn't want to wake you. I lie. 

Okay. He says unconvinced, I am going to go make some breakfast, and check on Willow. He says. 

Okay, I can go check on her if you want. I say. 

Up to you, Kat. He says. 

I will. I say getting out from under my quilt. I walk across the hall to her nursery. 

I enter the room, and I see the Willow tree painted just above her crib, and the beautifully painted meadow on the wall. 

Peeta painted the room himself, I remember him being in this room for hours straight he would not take any breaks. I smile at the memory. 

There my baby girl lays with her ocean blue eyes staring me down. She giggles and I pick her up and sit in the chair next to her bed. 

A small tear slips from my eye, I have to live for her. 

Peeta walks in the room with a bottle, and I wipe the stray tear from my eye.

Thank you. I say taking the bottle. 

Your breakfast is cooling. He tells me giving me a kiss on the forehead. 

He takes Willow from my arms so I can pump some milk, and when he touches my arm I wince in pain. 

He pulls away and has a concerned look on her face. He sets Willow in the crib and carefully rolls up my sleeve. 

A small tear slips from his eye, and his lip quivers as he stares at my arm. 

Katniss..I thought you were better. He says. 

I say nothing in return, and I look down at my feet. I am ashamed, how does he deal with me all the time? 

I'm sorry. I cry. 

No, I'm sorry I should've noticed. He says. 

Peeta this is not your fault. I say. 

Did you cut yourself anywhere else? He asks me.

I roll up my pijama pants to reveal the infected cut on my thigh. I then roll up my other sleeve to show him the other wound.

He sits there in shock while examining my body.

Can you please talk to Dr. Aurelius, when I was hijacked he helped me a lot. He remarks. 

I would have to go to the Capitol though. I say. 

I know. I can come with you. He tells me. 

No, Peeta going to the Capitol would be too hard for you, and who would take care of Willow. I say. 

I will be fine I cant have you go alone, and Haymitch can take care of her. He says desperately. 

I'm sorry Peeta, but I have to go alone. I tell him. 

Do you know how dangerous it is to travel alone being a woman, and being famous doesn't help you. He says wordily. 

Shh, I say taking his hand. I'll be alright Haymtich can come with me. I say.