Divine's Time

33. mind games

Trigger Warning: ⚠️ this chapter contains characters who are experiencing some mental health issues and challenges. I apologize if i triggered anyone while reading. If there is anyone who is struggling with mental and or emotional health issues, please know you matter and your are loved. Enjoy the chapter.  💛

Time

I don't know if it's the hormones but I couldn't stop crying.

I lay flat on my back on the king-sized hotel bed and watched the ceiling and its blankness and let the tears just fall to my ears.  I haven't been this down in a while.

I know that God has a plan and everything is happening for my greater good in the future, I just have to learn to make good of what's happening in my life at this moment.

It's just hard.

I rolled over and glared at the digital clock that sat on the nightstand of the hotel. It was almost time for my therapy session with my mom. I'm trying so hard to salvage this broken relationship, with everything in me.

That suggestion she made about me aborting my children hurt a little too much, and I was getting tired of trying. I never thought that she would be this difficult to like. I knew she had her judgments and expectations of me, but to take it out on her own grandchildren?

It was foul.

I finally got out of bed after crying a little more. And pulled a long-sleeved t-shirt and a pair of ripped mom jeans out of my suitcase. I paired white and light blue New Balance sneakers with the outfit. Walking to the bathroom I brushed my teeth and slicked my shoulder-length wavy hair into a low bun. I applied a little make-up grabbed my Louis Vuitton speedy purse and was headed out of the door.

Getting out of the Uber, I sighed as I walked into the lobby of the therapist's office. The receptionist greeted me with a warm smile as she held the phone to her ear. "Hi, I have an appointment with Kelly." I spoke lowly,  "My name is Time Kingston." She typed a little on her computer and gave me a warm smile and nod.

I thanked her before taking a seat in the modern earth-toned decorated lobby. I pulled out my phone and received a text from my mom. The more I read it the more my heart crushed.

Mom:  Time, I won't be coming to our session. You have made it impossible for us to have a relationship. It cannot be fixed. The life you have made for yourself is one I cannot continue to pretend like I support. I am disappointed beyond explanation. I don't know if therapy can cure that. Sorry about the late notice, I was too busy confiding in the elders of our family on this tragedy. They are disgustingly disappointed in you. I told them about your pregnancy and the father of your children. You brought them to tears, you have brought great shame to the Kingston family, especially your father.

I also, think it's best you stay wherever you are sleeping. The housekeeper will have your things ready to pick up. I will be praying for you, but I cannot support you.

My heart felt like it broke in half.

For some reason, this felt like a break-up. I knew she was having a hard time accepting this, but I am her child. This is the one person out of everybody I would expect no matter what to love me and she is choosing not to. I know her image, reputation, and beliefs meant everything to her. But learning that she would put them over he own child, her own grandchildren was just.. devastating.

To be completely disowned and exiled from my own family was something I never expected to happen to me. I always did my best to please my family my whole life, but now I just feel disposable.

I wiped my running nose before putting my phone in my purse. I stood up to leave then I heard Kelly call out my name.

"Time?" I turned around and gave her a quick and forceful smile. "Hi."