3. love doesnt live here.

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Time Essence Kingston

Time Essence Kingston

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Time Essence.
Like Time is of the essence.
My mother thought she was clever. But I love my name. 

When my father died, my mom didn't give me much time to grieve and mope around. She wanted me to keep going with my degree, with my traveling, and with my life. She told me sadness only slows things down.

My mom doesn't really give me much time to do anything outside of her plan for me, which is why I moved to Florida. I love Georgia, it's where I feel the most at home, but I couldn't deal with the stress that comes from being around my mother.

My family has always been somewhat controlling. Their expectations of me were high, but out of respect, I was determined to meet them. But since the death of my father, I realized I lost a sense of who I was, and I craved a fresh start.

I know keeping myself busy with school and stuff to ignore my true emotions is toxic, but that's what I have to do to survive. That's why I understood what Divine was going through that morning at breakfast. He has a hard shell, but I connected with him when it came to his grief. Based on the little that I saw.

He copes with being silent about his pain. I cope with working.

Speaking of working, I was currently participating in a tutoring program at FAMU where I now attend. It's been three months since I've been here.
And I pretty much got the ball rolling on my life, I joined a tutoring program that helps kids and other college students with English, I'm traveling more, I just left a trip to Cancun, before school started, and soon I will be going to Europe.

I have a lot going on in my life, but nothing that I'm not used to. My life has always been hectic and full of responsibilities.

I was taking college classes in high school, all while being involved in cheer and a bunch of volunteering. I was my parents' golden child, always had me working so they could brag to their rich peers. My mother wasn't thrilled at the idea of me moving to Florida for school, but I had to do something for myself for once.

Being the only child, my parents always spoiled me financially as long as I did what was expected of me. I spent my whole life trying to make them proud.

I did what they want me to do so often that I don't even know what I want anymore.

But strict Caribbean parents can do that to you. My auntie Goldie is my escape from all that, though. That's the positive side. Being here in Florida with my aunt allows me to do what I want to do for a change, to live for myself.

She allows me to be myself and make mistakes without judging me, and I love being around that. It's maybe because she was always the outcast of the family. 

A student asked me to check their essay, making me snap out of my thoughts. I smiled at the young girl and grabbed my pen. "Sorry about that. Let me see what you got".
•••
"So, how are you liking Miami so far?" Aunt Goldie asked as we walked the trail at the local park.

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