Ineffable 𓇢𓆸 || Jakehoon

🍃 Chapter 46🍃

Sunghoon's POV

The sun is barely peeking through the trees, casting long shadows across the forest floor. I can hear the others moving around, the soft rustle of leaves as they start their work for the day-gathering food, checking the supplies, and taking care of the kids. It's a steady rhythm now, one we've all gotten used to since we ran into these woods. We've been on the move for so long that it almost feels like the forest is our only home.

But me?

I feel like an outsider in my own body.

The wound I got a few days ago is still throbbing. I can feel it with every step, every shift of my weight. The infection is still there, eating away at me, but I refuse to admit it. I can't let anyone see how bad it really is. I won't let them think I'm weak. I can't.

I sit down on a fallen log to catch my breath. The pain's worse now, sharper than it's been since the night we ran. But I don't let myself show it. I'll keep moving. I'll keep going. I'm not one to stop for something like this.

But then I hear his voice-soft, concerned, and too familiar.

"Sunghoon?"

I don't have to look to know it's Jake. He's always the one hovering, always the one who can't leave me alone when he knows something's wrong. I can feel him walking over, his footsteps light but deliberate. I tense, hoping he won't notice. Hoping I can just get through this without worrying him anymore.

But he's close now, and I can hear his breath, shaky and quiet, as he kneels down beside me. "Are you okay?" he asks, his voice full of concern. "You look pale."

I don't want to look at him. I can't. If I do, I'll see that look in his eyes-the one where he's worried about me, where he thinks I can't handle things. I don't want him to see that. I'm not weak. I'm not.

"I'm fine, Jake," I snap, keeping my eyes focused on the ground in front of me. "Really, I'm fine."

But he doesn't let it go. "Sunghoon..." He reaches out to touch my shoulder, his hand warm against my skin. It makes me flinch, but I don't pull away. "You need to rest. Please. You're not fine."

I shake my head, the frustration bubbling up inside me, the anger that's been building for days now, ever since I've seen how they look at me-how he looks at me. He's always worried. Always trying to fix things. But I don't need fixing. I don't need anyone's pity.

"I SAID I'M FINE!" I snap again, my voice sharper than I meant. But the words feel like they're the only thing I can control right now. "STOP WORRYING ABOUT ME! Just... stop."

Jake looks taken aback, the hurt crossing his face before he can hide it. I know I've just hurt him. I can see it in his eyes-the shock, the fear, the confusion. And I hate myself for it. But I can't stop.

"Sunghoon" he says quietly, his voice trembling now. "Please, Sunghoon. Let me help you. You don't have to do this alone."

But that's the thing, isn't it? They all think I need help. They all think I'm weak, fragile, like I can't handle it. Like I can't protect them.

I'm not weak.

And I can't let them see me like this. Not like this.

I stand up quickly, a little too fast, the dizziness spinning in my head, but I refuse to let it stop me. "I SAID STOP IT, JAKE!" I shout now, my voice rising, my breath ragged. "I'M NOT SOME FRAGILE THING THAT NEEDS SAVING! I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY OR YOUR HELP! I CAN HANDLE THIS MYSELF!"

The words hit him like a slap, and I can see it in his eyes-the hurt, the confusion, the way his shoulders stiffen in shock. And that's when I know I've crossed a line. But it's too late.

I don't know why I said it, why I lashed out like that. Maybe it's the pain, maybe it's the frustration of pretending everything's fine when it's not. But I can't take it back.

Jake's eyes are wide now, his mouth opening and closing as if he's searching for something to say, but nothing comes out. And then, his face crumples, and I see the tears in his eyes.

I've never seen him look like this-so small, so hurt. It breaks something inside me, but I can't fix it. I can't undo what I've said.

"Jake..." I start, my voice softer now, but my throat is tight, and I can't get the words out right.

He looks at me for a moment longer, his gaze filled with so much hurt that it feels like I've been punched in the chest. Then, without another word, he steps back, wiping at his eyes quickly, but the tears still slip down his face.

I want to reach for him, to pull him back to me, to tell him I didn't mean it. But I don't. I can't. I don't deserve him, not after this.

Eunhee, who's been quietly working nearby, must have heard us. She walks over slowly, her expression soft but sad. She glances at Jake, who's wiping his face, and then at me, standing there like I've just broken something I can't fix.

"Jake," she says gently, her voice quiet but firm. "Let him be for a while. He needs some space. Just... give him time."

Jake looks at her, and then back at me, but he doesn't say anything more. The silence between us stretches out, thick and heavy, like a wall I don't know how to tear down. Finally, with a last lingering look, Jake turns and walks away, his shoulders hunched in a way that makes my chest ache.

I'm alone now. And I feel every inch of it.

I sit back down on the log, my body trembling with the weight of everything I've just said, everything I've just broken. The pain in my side is unbearable now, and I know it's getting worse. But I don't care about that right now. I care about Jake, about the way I just tore into him, even though he was only trying to help.

I don't know how to fix this. And I don't know if I even can.

But the silence in the air is suffocating. And all I want is for everything to be okay again. For him to come back to me. For me to be strong enough to protect him, like I'm supposed to.

But right now, I feel anything but strong. And I hate myself for it.

_______

Hello guys 👋🏻

off from the story I want to say something like what happened these days. I'm not telling this to all but feels like I want to post it in here too. RESPECT IDOLS! Idk but some ppl really act so bad like hating them for nothing. So I you are a really fan you really need to help them right? So I'm telling like we really need to help them and support them. We are only their fans so as fans we need to support them and that what fans do 🥹❤️
( I'm not telling this to everyone okay? Don't be mad and no hate ) thank you for reading my book too 🌹✨