Between Us

Chapter 55 : Held Then Let Go

I was curled up in the corner of my couch, legs tucked under me with Tofu sprawled out on my lap. His little head rested against my hand as I absently stroked his fur, eyes on the TV screen but not actually watching it. My mind kept drifting back to Engfa, to everything she'd done and everything she'd kept from me.

It had taken me days—maybe even weeks—to process that she was actually alive. I still wasn't sure what hurt more: believing she was dead or knowing she was out there, breathing, hiding from me all this time. The betrayal twisted in my chest like a dull ache that wouldn't go away. I didn't even know what was real anymore. All those moments I thought were filled with love and trust... were they just a lie? Or was she lying to herself, too?

Nudee came back from the kitchen, balancing two glasses of water. She'd been staying with me a lot lately, practically moved in at this point. She slept on the couch, made sure I ate, even tidied up here and there. I didn't know what I would have done without her. Heidi and Tina stopped by whenever they could, even with their packed schedules. Just having them around felt like a lifeline, a reminder that I wasn't completely alone.

In another world, I should've graduated alongside them, too. Instead, I was here, clinging to threads of my former life. No job, no direction, and barely any family left to lean on. And now, even Engfa... or whoever I thought Engfa was, was gone. I had to keep reminding myself that I didn't love her anymore. I couldn't love her after everything she'd done. I was just left with this hollow feeling and a bitterness that wouldn't seem to fade.

Nudee sat down next to me, handing me the glass and plopping down with a sigh. She glanced at the TV, rolling her eyes at whatever random channel I'd left on. "Seriously, Char, what is this?" she teased, flicking to another channel.

I managed a weak smile, nudging Tofu slightly as he gave a small grumble in his sleep.

"How about we eat out for a change? I'm pretty sure your taste buds are getting bored with the same reheated leftovers."

I laughed, looking down at Tofu curled up in my lap. "You think so?" I smiled, considering it. It had been a while since I'd gone anywhere that wasn't directly necessary.

"Come on!" she insisted, her voice bright. "There's this cute brunch place nearby. They're dog-friendly, and I've heard their waffles are life-changing." She waggled her brows as if that would sell me on it, though I could tell she was determined.

"Alright," I said, caving in. I scooped up Tofu, smothering him in kisses as he squirmed a little, probably wondering what all the fuss was about. "Guess we're going out for brunch, Tofu," I whispered to him, feeling a tiny spark of excitement that I hadn't felt in a while.

Once we were ready and out the door, the city didn't feel as gray as it usually did. The streets were lively, people chatting as they passed, and I could smell fresh bread from nearby bakeries. It felt... nice, almost like I was part of it all again.

The brunch spot Nudee had picked was small and cozy, with tables lined with cushions and blankets. We found a corner spot, perfect for Tofu, who immediately curled up on the little cushion next to me like he owned the place. I glanced over the menu, trying to keep a straight face as Nudee rambled off her order to the waiter—waffles, pancakes, a smoothie, and a side of fries for good measure.

"Hungry much?" I laughed, raising an eyebrow.

"What?" she said, completely unfazed. "If we're doing brunch, we're doing it right."

We both ended up laughing as the waiter walked off, probably wondering how we were going to finish all of it. But I didn't mind. For the first time in what felt like ages, I was out in the world, sharing a meal with someone who understood me better than I sometimes understood myself.